"Dammit!"
Um... I do believe that this was the first time this season that Jack has uttered his now famous catchphrase. Oh, I remember when the catchphrase was something more creative, like "Today is the longest day of my life" or "Somebody get me a hacksaw!"
Um... I really don't remember much about this episode. That's how memorable it was. I do remember that Jack and Logan travel to the Russian Consulate because Logan is positive that the Consul is connected to the terrorist attacks. Logan has a private meeting with the Consul, who is completely stereotypically over-the-top, so I'll start calling him Boris. Boris is shifty-eyed, and verry verry eeeevil, so he's totally involved. Which he is - he calls Gredenko and is all, "They're heere!" Logan tells Jack that Boris is lying, so Jack breaks back into the Consulate (idiot!) and gets caught (idiot!) and the best part is that this has already happened to him (bigger idiot!). On the plus side of this, Jack tortures Boris and gets pertinent information out of him, and then is caught. Dammit!
Meanwhile, Wayne isn't dead (awww!) and Dr. Bashir is dead (AWWWW!!), so Evil Daniels takes over. Evil Daniels is notified by Logan that Boris knows where Gredenko is, so Evil Daniels has a kinda awkward phone conversation with President Suvarov, promising retalliation or something. I kinda forgot. All I do remember is that Logan realizes that Martha is the only person who can get the Suvarovs to cooperate... with... something. Oh! Giving the okay to barge in on the Consulate. Right. Oh, and all these hours that Karen Hayes has been MIA (supposedly on an airplane to LA), she's really been chilling in the airport, so she's all, "I think I'ma go back to work." Yes.
"Secret Lovers": Reed tells his ONE co-conspirator to let Lennox go, and Lennox agrees to remain silent. Then, he totally turns Reed in, and Reed has the shocked and betrayed look only one wronged lover can give another. But all is right (wrong) with the world when Evil Daniels gives Lennox a Faustian offer: say that Dr. Bashir was behind the assassination attempt, and then Evil Daniels will turn the US into a police state like Lennox wanted. So Lennox's all, "Okay."
Whatever. I was bored. This show is getting boring. Like, yeah, there were explosions and shit because nowadays there are always explosions and shit, but none of it meant anything to me and the story's getting ridiculous. In a bad way. Not even over-the-top melodrama, but just very very VERY sloppily written. Because it's just boring.
Oh! And Sean Callery (the composer) totally ripped off John Williams' JFK score for this episode, and no, that's not cool. Just because the original was a good score doesn't mean you can just take it and put it in your own project when it doesn't have the same context. If Callery had stolen the E.T. theme and put it in a scene with Chloe doing some computer stuff and talking technobabble, people would be making a shit fit. So, I am with this. While in JFK, said piece of music was used when Laurie Metcalfe describes the possibility that Lee Harvey Oswald was a US spy in Russia, here, it's Logan thinking and talking with Jack, very calmly, sans urgency. Whatever.
All in all: C-
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Showing posts with label 24. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 24. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Monday, March 5, 2007
24 6.11: Day 6 - 4:00PM - 5:00PM
"Worried about me is one thing, but charging into the men's bathroom is borderline obsessive."
Ding dong, the Wayne is dead. Which old Wayne? President Wayne!
Well, I guess technically, Wayne Palmer isn't dead... yet. But he's been blowed up by a bomb, or at least the cliffhanger lets us think so. I'm hoping he is dead, however, for several reasons:
1. The writers will be a centimeter closer to redeeming themselves for not killing off President... Keeler (was that his name? Yes, it was) season 4 when they blew up Air Force One. Though it won't redeem for many, many other things.
2. President Wayne Palmer DOES NOT EQUAL President David Palmer. God rest his soul.
3. The story possibilities are endless if Wayne is killed - Evil Vice President Noah Daniels takes over the country, more Muslim correctional facility wackiness, Lennox accused (and possibly teaming up with a bereaved Sandra Palmer to find the killers)... but we'll see.
Before all of that good fun, we had other things to worry about. First of all, Jack Bauers glowers some more as he is whisked away to LumberLogan's super secret cabin getaway, where the government has placed him under house arrest in return for not arresting him for being involved with the Day 5 conspiracy. LumberLogan convinces President Palmer (before said assassination attempt) to let out for the evening, so he and Jack can go to the Russian consul to find out... something (I think find out where Gredenko is planning to set off the bombs... or something), as a result of blackmail. Since the Russians were also involved with the conspiracy... which is interesting considering that President Subarov and his wife were almost killed. This plotline for the hour mostly consists of Jack and LumberLogan getting dressed for the occassion. That's right, forty-five minutes worth. Those are two bitches when it comes to getting dressed, and to think that it took Jack three minutes to shave off his beard at the beginning of Day 2. You're getting up there, old man!
Morris, my favorite character still, is doing his job, and Chloe and Nadia (shut the hell UP, Nadia!) and all the rest of CTU is worried that he's not doing his shit. So, Chloe calls his sponsor, Bart Simpson, and Bart tells her that she hasn't spoken to Morris in a few years. Which causes Chloe to storm into the bathroom, into the stall where Morris is dropping the kids off at the pool, and totally makes an ass of herself. Such is the CTU drama.
In the "Secret Lovers" storyline, Lennox is tied up, knocked around, and Reed's one co-conspirator plants a bomb in the podium where Wayne and Dr. Bashir are going to give their televised speech. Reed tries to comfort Lennox and tries to clean his wounds lovingly while trying to save his life, and then goes to plant the bomb. This assassination attempt, by the way, is really sloppy. The bomb will kill you only if you're within ten feet of it. That's lame. But, the bomb goes off, and either Dr. Bashir or Wayne OR BOTH are dead.
But I guess we'll find out til next time.
All in all: B-
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Ding dong, the Wayne is dead. Which old Wayne? President Wayne!
Well, I guess technically, Wayne Palmer isn't dead... yet. But he's been blowed up by a bomb, or at least the cliffhanger lets us think so. I'm hoping he is dead, however, for several reasons:
1. The writers will be a centimeter closer to redeeming themselves for not killing off President... Keeler (was that his name? Yes, it was) season 4 when they blew up Air Force One. Though it won't redeem for many, many other things.
2. President Wayne Palmer DOES NOT EQUAL President David Palmer. God rest his soul.
3. The story possibilities are endless if Wayne is killed - Evil Vice President Noah Daniels takes over the country, more Muslim correctional facility wackiness, Lennox accused (and possibly teaming up with a bereaved Sandra Palmer to find the killers)... but we'll see.
Before all of that good fun, we had other things to worry about. First of all, Jack Bauers glowers some more as he is whisked away to LumberLogan's super secret cabin getaway, where the government has placed him under house arrest in return for not arresting him for being involved with the Day 5 conspiracy. LumberLogan convinces President Palmer (before said assassination attempt) to let out for the evening, so he and Jack can go to the Russian consul to find out... something (I think find out where Gredenko is planning to set off the bombs... or something), as a result of blackmail. Since the Russians were also involved with the conspiracy... which is interesting considering that President Subarov and his wife were almost killed. This plotline for the hour mostly consists of Jack and LumberLogan getting dressed for the occassion. That's right, forty-five minutes worth. Those are two bitches when it comes to getting dressed, and to think that it took Jack three minutes to shave off his beard at the beginning of Day 2. You're getting up there, old man!
Morris, my favorite character still, is doing his job, and Chloe and Nadia (shut the hell UP, Nadia!) and all the rest of CTU is worried that he's not doing his shit. So, Chloe calls his sponsor, Bart Simpson, and Bart tells her that she hasn't spoken to Morris in a few years. Which causes Chloe to storm into the bathroom, into the stall where Morris is dropping the kids off at the pool, and totally makes an ass of herself. Such is the CTU drama.
In the "Secret Lovers" storyline, Lennox is tied up, knocked around, and Reed's one co-conspirator plants a bomb in the podium where Wayne and Dr. Bashir are going to give their televised speech. Reed tries to comfort Lennox and tries to clean his wounds lovingly while trying to save his life, and then goes to plant the bomb. This assassination attempt, by the way, is really sloppy. The bomb will kill you only if you're within ten feet of it. That's lame. But, the bomb goes off, and either Dr. Bashir or Wayne OR BOTH are dead.
But I guess we'll find out til next time.
All in all: B-
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
24 6.10: Day 6 - 3:00PM - 4:00PM
"You turned your back on me to be a, what? A civil servant?"
But you're wrong, Phillip Bauer. Jack Bauer's not a civil servant, he's America's superhero!
Or at least that's what the 24 fanboys who get hard-ons for Chloe would have you believe. I am one of, like, five people in America who completely disagree.
Jack saves Milo and Marilyn (which, was there any chance that he wouldn't? Maybe if this was Season One), and then Marilyn tearfully confesses that Phillip is holding Josh hostage. Now, let me say this about Rena Sofer as Marilyn Bauer... she is strikingly beautiful (her blue eyes are nearly blinding), and she bears a slight resemblence to Amanda Peet. But, I can't help but compare Marilyn to the bevy of beauties that Jack has had over the years: I'd rank her at the bottom, and this is why. Obviously, my favorite of Jack's leading ladies has been his wife, Teri, because she's his frickin' wife, as well as just being a completely realistic character alongside him, a normal woman caught up in extraordinary circumstances. Plus, I bought the love between them, and her death has been one of the most affecting the show has produced. Ever. Then, in second place is Audrey Raines, because she was awesome and was pretty kick-ass considering she was held hostage, tortured by Jack for being suspected as a mole, been involved in various political intricacies, and had the worst day during Season Four (more on that later). In third place, Kate Warner because, despite only having three facial expressions, had her own insane storyline that affected the others - plus, the drama with Marie was pretty priceless. Fourth and last is a tie between Marilyn, who I think is beautiful, but basically a damsel-in-distress, and Claudia, Jack's Mexican paramour who was a stereotypically fiery Latin spitfire ala Carmen who came and died and was pretty incosequential. Plus, it doesn't help that Rena Sofer hasn't grown as an actress since her days as Lois Ashton on General Hospital. There's a scene where she cries and cries and... no tears... and she keeps crying.
In other story land, Milo is injured and is returned to CTU as a hero, which makes Morris feel like shit... which leads to a potential alcoholic relapse. Which Morris bravely gets rid of, vomiting up the fifth of whiskey that he's just downed outside a liquor store (while leaving his RedBull and Altoids, behind... Hello, Product Placement!). I guess it means that Morris was a bulimic in high school, because he has that curved-finger-in-the-throat thing down! And it makes sense that Morris would have been someone like that in high school, since he is a sensitive British type. "Morris, you're worthless because you're a coward who helped arm some nukes!" "Shut up! This is because I'm fat, isn't it, you sodding wanker?!" BARF. I am also tickled by thoughts that Milo is cringing and moving so slowly at CTU because of the bullet in his arm, while Morris, who had a fucking drill in his shoulder a few hours ago, is operating fine. I will just add that at this juncture, Morris has won me over as my favorite character of the season.
The presidential assassination story, with Lennox and Reed plotting eeeeevil, also tickles me. I think the story itself is fine, but the way the two are presented conspiring with each other is hilarious, particularly in this episode. Honestly, Atlantic Starr's song "Secret Lovers" plays in my head every time they run off to the closet together, whispering in breathy, husky voices. When Lennox decides that it's wrong to try to kill President Palmer (the dumb one), Reed punches him out, hurt and teary, then binds and gags him... very lovingly, as we see in the final box.
Jack's story... blah blah blah. This is a storyline where Kim would have totally benefitted, since Jack flat out tells Phillip that the Bauer family only consists of the two of them, Marilyn, and Josh. I love that Jack (and the writers) have totally forgotten Kim, a regular of the first three seasons that the writers have decided to excise from the universe (despite a few vague mentions of Teri and the elder President Palmer). This season has totally made me miss the characters that the show has written off because I think they would fit better: Tony and Michelle taking the place of Buchanan and Karen would have given more weight to those stories, Kim involved with the current Bauer family plot since she is part of the family and also a "civil servant"... if this show pulled the characters-back-from-the-dead thing, I would have loved to see Sherry be the mastermind behind Wayne's assassination attempt, or maybe trying to stop it. Well... I guess she would have been more useful last season, hunting down David's killers. Alas.
At this point, I submit: Who has had the worst day this season thus far? In my opinion, the following characters have had that honor in seasons past -
Day One - The Bauer family (Jack, Teri, Kim), who went through, respectively, kidnapping, coersion into assassinating a senator, various bombings, shootings, jail, drugs, amnesia, meeting your wife's mistress, and death.
Day Two - President David Palmer, who handled a country through a nuke hunt and its aftermath, dealt with an internal coup, let his ex-wife back into his life only to be betrayed by her again, was temporarily impeached and held captive in the LA Federal Building, and then poisoned through a Fruit Roll-Up of Death applied to his palm.
Day Three - Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler, both of whom dealt with his being shot IN THE NECK, her being trapped in a hotel saturated with a lethal virus, her kidnapping and his committing treason to save her, and the ensuing divorce.
Day Four - Audrey Raines, who was kidnapped, rescued, thought her ex-husband was evil, then fell back in love with him, then saw him die, then thought her father was a terrorist, then found out her brother kinda was, then discovered he was gay, then thought that Jack had died.
Day Five - President David Palmer, Michelle Dessler, and Tony Almeida because they all DIED HORRIBLE DEATHS. But not Edgar. Fuck him, and I'm glad he died! You hear me, 24-verse? I'M GLAD HE DIED!!! Oh, wow. Where are my senses?
Day Six -
Who is it?
Is it President Logan? Well, he's not in this season. Or is he?
Yes, he is! All lumberjacky-looking. Which leads me to wonder, where is Martha? Screwing Aaron Pierce in some exotic locale? And how can Logan help Jack with all this? Oh, 24. You and the questions you ask. Or cause. 'Cuz I ask the questions, you don't. You just answer them. Sometimes.
The best thing about this episode? No Sandra. Fucking. Palmer. Thank God!
All in all: C+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
But you're wrong, Phillip Bauer. Jack Bauer's not a civil servant, he's America's superhero!
Or at least that's what the 24 fanboys who get hard-ons for Chloe would have you believe. I am one of, like, five people in America who completely disagree.
Jack saves Milo and Marilyn (which, was there any chance that he wouldn't? Maybe if this was Season One), and then Marilyn tearfully confesses that Phillip is holding Josh hostage. Now, let me say this about Rena Sofer as Marilyn Bauer... she is strikingly beautiful (her blue eyes are nearly blinding), and she bears a slight resemblence to Amanda Peet. But, I can't help but compare Marilyn to the bevy of beauties that Jack has had over the years: I'd rank her at the bottom, and this is why. Obviously, my favorite of Jack's leading ladies has been his wife, Teri, because she's his frickin' wife, as well as just being a completely realistic character alongside him, a normal woman caught up in extraordinary circumstances. Plus, I bought the love between them, and her death has been one of the most affecting the show has produced. Ever. Then, in second place is Audrey Raines, because she was awesome and was pretty kick-ass considering she was held hostage, tortured by Jack for being suspected as a mole, been involved in various political intricacies, and had the worst day during Season Four (more on that later). In third place, Kate Warner because, despite only having three facial expressions, had her own insane storyline that affected the others - plus, the drama with Marie was pretty priceless. Fourth and last is a tie between Marilyn, who I think is beautiful, but basically a damsel-in-distress, and Claudia, Jack's Mexican paramour who was a stereotypically fiery Latin spitfire ala Carmen who came and died and was pretty incosequential. Plus, it doesn't help that Rena Sofer hasn't grown as an actress since her days as Lois Ashton on General Hospital. There's a scene where she cries and cries and... no tears... and she keeps crying.
In other story land, Milo is injured and is returned to CTU as a hero, which makes Morris feel like shit... which leads to a potential alcoholic relapse. Which Morris bravely gets rid of, vomiting up the fifth of whiskey that he's just downed outside a liquor store (while leaving his RedBull and Altoids, behind... Hello, Product Placement!). I guess it means that Morris was a bulimic in high school, because he has that curved-finger-in-the-throat thing down! And it makes sense that Morris would have been someone like that in high school, since he is a sensitive British type. "Morris, you're worthless because you're a coward who helped arm some nukes!" "Shut up! This is because I'm fat, isn't it, you sodding wanker?!" BARF. I am also tickled by thoughts that Milo is cringing and moving so slowly at CTU because of the bullet in his arm, while Morris, who had a fucking drill in his shoulder a few hours ago, is operating fine. I will just add that at this juncture, Morris has won me over as my favorite character of the season.
The presidential assassination story, with Lennox and Reed plotting eeeeevil, also tickles me. I think the story itself is fine, but the way the two are presented conspiring with each other is hilarious, particularly in this episode. Honestly, Atlantic Starr's song "Secret Lovers" plays in my head every time they run off to the closet together, whispering in breathy, husky voices. When Lennox decides that it's wrong to try to kill President Palmer (the dumb one), Reed punches him out, hurt and teary, then binds and gags him... very lovingly, as we see in the final box.
Jack's story... blah blah blah. This is a storyline where Kim would have totally benefitted, since Jack flat out tells Phillip that the Bauer family only consists of the two of them, Marilyn, and Josh. I love that Jack (and the writers) have totally forgotten Kim, a regular of the first three seasons that the writers have decided to excise from the universe (despite a few vague mentions of Teri and the elder President Palmer). This season has totally made me miss the characters that the show has written off because I think they would fit better: Tony and Michelle taking the place of Buchanan and Karen would have given more weight to those stories, Kim involved with the current Bauer family plot since she is part of the family and also a "civil servant"... if this show pulled the characters-back-from-the-dead thing, I would have loved to see Sherry be the mastermind behind Wayne's assassination attempt, or maybe trying to stop it. Well... I guess she would have been more useful last season, hunting down David's killers. Alas.
At this point, I submit: Who has had the worst day this season thus far? In my opinion, the following characters have had that honor in seasons past -
Day One - The Bauer family (Jack, Teri, Kim), who went through, respectively, kidnapping, coersion into assassinating a senator, various bombings, shootings, jail, drugs, amnesia, meeting your wife's mistress, and death.
Day Two - President David Palmer, who handled a country through a nuke hunt and its aftermath, dealt with an internal coup, let his ex-wife back into his life only to be betrayed by her again, was temporarily impeached and held captive in the LA Federal Building, and then poisoned through a Fruit Roll-Up of Death applied to his palm.
Day Three - Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler, both of whom dealt with his being shot IN THE NECK, her being trapped in a hotel saturated with a lethal virus, her kidnapping and his committing treason to save her, and the ensuing divorce.
Day Four - Audrey Raines, who was kidnapped, rescued, thought her ex-husband was evil, then fell back in love with him, then saw him die, then thought her father was a terrorist, then found out her brother kinda was, then discovered he was gay, then thought that Jack had died.
Day Five - President David Palmer, Michelle Dessler, and Tony Almeida because they all DIED HORRIBLE DEATHS. But not Edgar. Fuck him, and I'm glad he died! You hear me, 24-verse? I'M GLAD HE DIED!!! Oh, wow. Where are my senses?
Day Six -
Who is it?
Is it President Logan? Well, he's not in this season. Or is he?
Yes, he is! All lumberjacky-looking. Which leads me to wonder, where is Martha? Screwing Aaron Pierce in some exotic locale? And how can Logan help Jack with all this? Oh, 24. You and the questions you ask. Or cause. 'Cuz I ask the questions, you don't. You just answer them. Sometimes.
The best thing about this episode? No Sandra. Fucking. Palmer. Thank God!
All in all: C+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
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