"Why's it so hard? That's what she said... Oh my God. Did I just say that?"
Yes, you did, Jan. Yes, you did.
Tonight's episode, in which Michael and Jan "come out" as a couple while attending a management cocktail party, was amazing. Thus far, Season Three has been ridiculously solid, but hasn't touched the highs of Season Two (which, to be fair, are terribly high), but the last two episodes have done it. The last episode, directed by Joss Whedon, mined the emotional territory that Season Two at its most depressing was unsurpassed at, and this one, directed by J.J. Abrams, was hilarious, and also excuciatingly suspenseful. In that "Oh my GOD, Michael, you're gonna ruin YOUR LIFE!"
There were two main stories this episode, both involving alcohol-centered get-togethers: the management cocktail party, frequented by Michael and Jan, Dwight, and Jim and Karen; and an after-work happy hour thing, with everyone else. The cocktail party was a great plot. Jan decides to turn in HR paperwork stating that she and Michael are in a relationship, and takes him as her date to the management cocktail party, and of course, wackiness ensues. Jan definitely had the best lines of the episode, as she finds herself during an interview beginning to quote Michael's "That's what she said" joke, and then discusses the pros and cons of the relationship: "The upside is marriage, kids, that whole thing... the downside? I continue dating Michael Scott and implode on myself like a dying star." Jan definitely has some emotional problems, and it's tragic that her relationship with Michael is a result of that, and she's totally developed into this tragic figure on the show. She then tries to seduce Michael in the bathroom in an attempt to either shut him up or ease her tensions, and it fails. Their final scene is a funny one where they reconcile in the car on their way home, and it shows that Jan does genuinely care about Michael, as opposed to seeing him as a booty call of sorts. Melora Hardin, in general, rocks.
The other important development is that Pam and Roy break up again for good, and THANK GOD. I wasn't really caring for Good Roy, and while it was an interesting character development, I wasn't digging a love square with four good people... the good love traingle with Jim, Pam, and Karen is enough for me. Pam confesses that she and Jim kissed at Casino Night, and that causes Roy to go on a drunken rage and destroy the bar they're at. The episode ends with Roy vowing vengeance on Jim... which is a kinda scary thought.
I don't know where anything on this show is going, which is the best thing about it. Unpredictability.
All in all: A+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Lost 3.09: Stranger in a Strange Land
"You need to stop crying and cowboy up!"
First of all, someone needs to desperately dick-slap the ABC promo monkeys, because the promo for this episode (which, for the record, I thought was pretty good) told us MAJOR LIES, saying that the episode would answer three mysteries that we had all been wondering about. The three said mysteries were implied to be the following:
1. What do Jack's tattoos say? (First of all, not really a major mystery that I've been wrapping my brain around, just a minor curiosity. And, actually, that is answered in the episode. The tattoo on his arm says, according to the Others' "Sheriff" Isabel: "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us.")
2. Why did the Others take the children? (The commercial made it seem like Kate was asking a major Other this question, but alas, she is only asking Carl, who says that "we give the kids better lives." Which is what they've been saying for, like, years!)
3. What is the Others' major plan? (Nope, not until the season finale.)
The episode is a Jack-centric episode, which I was figuring might be more "My dad is a mean drunk, and I hate him but I love him wah wah wah!" And while the Jack/Christian drama was good during Season One, and partly some of Season Two (when Ana Lucia was involved), I think we have that story in complete complete detail. Plus, I was promised that Libby would be the new Dr. Christian Shepherd (I was totally gonna write Dr. Christian Troy, so much brain has Nip/Tuck taken over) in terms of appearing in everybody's flashbacks, but I still haven't gotten her. Anyways, this flashback begins a new chapter in the Jack-flashback story, so...
Jack's in Thailand and begins screwing Bai Ling, who is a sort of psychic tattoo artist. She reads him like a book when he psychologically-rapes her into tattooing him, but it causes the Thais to kick him out of the country because he isn't one of them, which is funny because that's what his tattoo says! Which is a really fucked up tattoo for Bai Ling to give him. Now, I wonder, while they were fucking, did she ever start singing, a la But Can They Sing? Imagine her belting "I Touch Myself" while they're in that mosquito-netting bed... freaky. Maybe she's the smoke monster on the island? That would make a lot of sense... well, at least the smoke monster noise sounds like Bai Ling's singing. Oh, Bai Ling, "you-a a littoo-a strange."
But Bai Ling's not the only hot-woman-who-shouldn't-be-hot in this episode. Jack meets the Sheriff of The Others (whatever that means): Isabel, who may or may not be another attempt by the Lost writers to make fun Grey's Anatomy references. Well, honestly, I think this is another coincidence, just like having a Dr. Shepherd. But naming Juliet "Dr. Burke"... completely on purpose, and don't try to tell me otherwise, bitch. Only if they start calling Isabel "Izzy"...
Anyways, Isabel, played by Diana Scarwid, aka the adult Christina Crawford from Mommie Dearest, is overseeing Juliet's trial (or hearing, or whatever other judicial system thing that The Others perform) for killing Pickett. Isabel has some hot and heavy dialogue exchanges with Jack, not in the double entendre, sexual innuendo kinda way, but in a very "I'm in charge and you're gonna take it, bitch" kinda way, which she must have inherited from Faye Dunaway. So, does this mean she's gonna beat Jack with a wire hanger at some point? (I totally typed "come point" by accident, which... Freudian slip, anyone?) I think it more likely that she'll make Jack chop down some palm trees, however. And if you haven't seen Mommie Dearest, then this whole paragraph isn't nearly as funny as it is for me.
Jack convinces Ben to convince Christina Crawford to not kill Juliet, but instead Ben decides to mark her, which totally is a bad thing for The Others. So Juliet Prynne returns to Jack to thank him for saving her life, and gives him a grilled cheese sandwich, her way of saying "Thank you and I love you."
In other story (is)land, Kate tries to get Sawyer to turn around the canoe to go back and save Jack, but Sawyer's like "Fuck him! He wanted us to leave him!" Which, of course, is because he's pissed off that she's worried about Jack when he's the love of her life. Carl is sad about Alex, who he used to stare at the stars with in their back yard, which is a lovely sentiment, actually. Sawyer allows him to escape to go find Alex in Othersville, which kinda pisses Kate off, but Sawyer says that it's because Carl is a walking target. But really, it's because Sawyer's a big teddy bear.
The episode ends with Jack and Juliet looking at the water. Juliet glances at Jack, and Jack smiles and is all, "Yeah, I know you want this."
All in all: B+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
First of all, someone needs to desperately dick-slap the ABC promo monkeys, because the promo for this episode (which, for the record, I thought was pretty good) told us MAJOR LIES, saying that the episode would answer three mysteries that we had all been wondering about. The three said mysteries were implied to be the following:
1. What do Jack's tattoos say? (First of all, not really a major mystery that I've been wrapping my brain around, just a minor curiosity. And, actually, that is answered in the episode. The tattoo on his arm says, according to the Others' "Sheriff" Isabel: "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us.")
2. Why did the Others take the children? (The commercial made it seem like Kate was asking a major Other this question, but alas, she is only asking Carl, who says that "we give the kids better lives." Which is what they've been saying for, like, years!)
3. What is the Others' major plan? (Nope, not until the season finale.)
The episode is a Jack-centric episode, which I was figuring might be more "My dad is a mean drunk, and I hate him but I love him wah wah wah!" And while the Jack/Christian drama was good during Season One, and partly some of Season Two (when Ana Lucia was involved), I think we have that story in complete complete detail. Plus, I was promised that Libby would be the new Dr. Christian Shepherd (I was totally gonna write Dr. Christian Troy, so much brain has Nip/Tuck taken over) in terms of appearing in everybody's flashbacks, but I still haven't gotten her. Anyways, this flashback begins a new chapter in the Jack-flashback story, so...
Jack's in Thailand and begins screwing Bai Ling, who is a sort of psychic tattoo artist. She reads him like a book when he psychologically-rapes her into tattooing him, but it causes the Thais to kick him out of the country because he isn't one of them, which is funny because that's what his tattoo says! Which is a really fucked up tattoo for Bai Ling to give him. Now, I wonder, while they were fucking, did she ever start singing, a la But Can They Sing? Imagine her belting "I Touch Myself" while they're in that mosquito-netting bed... freaky. Maybe she's the smoke monster on the island? That would make a lot of sense... well, at least the smoke monster noise sounds like Bai Ling's singing. Oh, Bai Ling, "you-a a littoo-a strange."
But Bai Ling's not the only hot-woman-who-shouldn't-be-hot in this episode. Jack meets the Sheriff of The Others (whatever that means): Isabel, who may or may not be another attempt by the Lost writers to make fun Grey's Anatomy references. Well, honestly, I think this is another coincidence, just like having a Dr. Shepherd. But naming Juliet "Dr. Burke"... completely on purpose, and don't try to tell me otherwise, bitch. Only if they start calling Isabel "Izzy"...
Anyways, Isabel, played by Diana Scarwid, aka the adult Christina Crawford from Mommie Dearest, is overseeing Juliet's trial (or hearing, or whatever other judicial system thing that The Others perform) for killing Pickett. Isabel has some hot and heavy dialogue exchanges with Jack, not in the double entendre, sexual innuendo kinda way, but in a very "I'm in charge and you're gonna take it, bitch" kinda way, which she must have inherited from Faye Dunaway. So, does this mean she's gonna beat Jack with a wire hanger at some point? (I totally typed "come point" by accident, which... Freudian slip, anyone?) I think it more likely that she'll make Jack chop down some palm trees, however. And if you haven't seen Mommie Dearest, then this whole paragraph isn't nearly as funny as it is for me.
Jack convinces Ben to convince Christina Crawford to not kill Juliet, but instead Ben decides to mark her, which totally is a bad thing for The Others. So Juliet Prynne returns to Jack to thank him for saving her life, and gives him a grilled cheese sandwich, her way of saying "Thank you and I love you."
In other story (is)land, Kate tries to get Sawyer to turn around the canoe to go back and save Jack, but Sawyer's like "Fuck him! He wanted us to leave him!" Which, of course, is because he's pissed off that she's worried about Jack when he's the love of her life. Carl is sad about Alex, who he used to stare at the stars with in their back yard, which is a lovely sentiment, actually. Sawyer allows him to escape to go find Alex in Othersville, which kinda pisses Kate off, but Sawyer says that it's because Carl is a walking target. But really, it's because Sawyer's a big teddy bear.
The episode ends with Jack and Juliet looking at the water. Juliet glances at Jack, and Jack smiles and is all, "Yeah, I know you want this."
All in all: B+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Veronica Mars 3.14: Mars, Bars
"By all means, tell me the forensics results in front of Neptune's favorite amateur crime-fighting duo!"
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!??
Oh, Rob and Co., what did you do?! This episode was full of WTF moments in both the murder-mystery and the personal. Of the mystery WTFs: Josh takes Mason hostage in his trunk! Mindy O'Dell or Professor Landry could have been the killers since their alibis don't match up! Weevil discovers bloody evidence! Veronica is accused of bugging Landry's phone! When she didn't! Of the personal WTFs: Mac loses her virginity! To Bronson the Vegan Goody-Goody! Logan and Parker have a spark!
And, the most WTF-iest of the WTF moments: they killed Sheriff Lamb! Those bastards!
Veronica Mars has a history of killing characters. In essence, this is a murder mystery show - three of the four mysteries have revolved around a death or deaths (the Heart serial rapist is the only mystery not to claim any victims). But, they've never killed off a regular in mid-season! The only regular to bite it thusfar has been Beaver, and that was at the end of last season when he was revealed as the bus crash mastermind. Plenty of recurrings have died throughout the years (Lilly Kane, obviously; Aaron Echolls, Kendall Casablancas, Meg Manning, etc.), but... wow. And the CW didn't do the "One of the characters will DIE!" thing, of which I'm very impressed. I didn't even believe that Lamb was going to die, even when he was lying on the floor, blood gushing out of his skull after being bashed by Steve Botando. I still can't believe it, even after Keith confirms it and is promoted to Sheriff.
Anyways, onto the story: The murder-mystery-within-the-murder-mystery was wrapped up, and it is discovered that Coach Berry was dying and actually committed suicide. While that was a fine twist (plus all the "double indemnity" stuff totally harkened back to '40s noir), it sucked that the last encounter with Josh was an angry one. Pretty tragic for both of them. But I loved having Mason bound and gagged in the trunk, probably because I really thought he was totally arrogant and whatever. Too bad he didn't do it. Plus, Keith was about to be totally shot by Mrs. Berry, except for the fact that she wasn't. Sooo many red herrings.
Speaking of: I'm usually really good with keeping the details straight of the Veronica Mars mysteries of years past, but this time, I'm totally lost. In the sense of the new development. I know now that Mindy O'Dell and Professor Landry's alibis are in the shitter since now the timeline has been pushed back an hour because the Clippers game Landry claims to have watched actually aired an hour later than thought. Bam! Either of them could have done it. But I'm totally lost as to how Veronica gets to that conclusion.
No! No! Can't... claim... I.... don't.... understand... Must... LIE!!!
I totally got it. I understand all.
Why does that sound like something Amanda from Ugly Betty would say? Think about it.
Since Mindy and Landry are the prime suspects, they obviously aren't the killers. Steve Botando, Mindy's ex-husband who got his BONE MARROW STOLEN by Mindy and the Dean, was somehow involved, but was shot by Sacks after he bashed in Lamb's skull (sob!). Then, that leaves Tim Foyle as a suspect, trying to frame Landry. Or is it shady businessman Mel Stoltz, who was also involved with Coach Berry? My thought (and what I hope is true) is that it's a conspiracy between Nish, Fern, and Claire, as revenge for reinstating the Greek system and invalidating the chaos from the serial rapist.
I do love how this mystery, while completely separate from the rapist plot, is totally affected and intertwined with it. So, it still feels like a season-long mystery, though they are technically separate. And I love the continuity fairies, who I guess have deemed it that in the Neptune universe, whenever a character is dying or dead, the smell of food is always present (Lamb's last words are "I smell bread"; when Veronica thinks Keith is dead, she has a dream where he's in the kitchen and says "Do you smell bacon?").
In personal land, Veronica and Logan are broken up and not emo anymore, Mac and Bronson are dating (and fucking, as we see), Logan begins to have twitches for Parker, and Veronica is appropriately weirded out. When are she and Piz gonna finally get together? Stupid teen angsty drama!
The mystery is wrapped up next week, and I can't fucking wait.
RIP Sheriff Don Lamb. We hardly knew ye.
All in all: A
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!??
Oh, Rob and Co., what did you do?! This episode was full of WTF moments in both the murder-mystery and the personal. Of the mystery WTFs: Josh takes Mason hostage in his trunk! Mindy O'Dell or Professor Landry could have been the killers since their alibis don't match up! Weevil discovers bloody evidence! Veronica is accused of bugging Landry's phone! When she didn't! Of the personal WTFs: Mac loses her virginity! To Bronson the Vegan Goody-Goody! Logan and Parker have a spark!
And, the most WTF-iest of the WTF moments: they killed Sheriff Lamb! Those bastards!
Veronica Mars has a history of killing characters. In essence, this is a murder mystery show - three of the four mysteries have revolved around a death or deaths (the Heart serial rapist is the only mystery not to claim any victims). But, they've never killed off a regular in mid-season! The only regular to bite it thusfar has been Beaver, and that was at the end of last season when he was revealed as the bus crash mastermind. Plenty of recurrings have died throughout the years (Lilly Kane, obviously; Aaron Echolls, Kendall Casablancas, Meg Manning, etc.), but... wow. And the CW didn't do the "One of the characters will DIE!" thing, of which I'm very impressed. I didn't even believe that Lamb was going to die, even when he was lying on the floor, blood gushing out of his skull after being bashed by Steve Botando. I still can't believe it, even after Keith confirms it and is promoted to Sheriff.
Anyways, onto the story: The murder-mystery-within-the-murder-mystery was wrapped up, and it is discovered that Coach Berry was dying and actually committed suicide. While that was a fine twist (plus all the "double indemnity" stuff totally harkened back to '40s noir), it sucked that the last encounter with Josh was an angry one. Pretty tragic for both of them. But I loved having Mason bound and gagged in the trunk, probably because I really thought he was totally arrogant and whatever. Too bad he didn't do it. Plus, Keith was about to be totally shot by Mrs. Berry, except for the fact that she wasn't. Sooo many red herrings.
Speaking of: I'm usually really good with keeping the details straight of the Veronica Mars mysteries of years past, but this time, I'm totally lost. In the sense of the new development. I know now that Mindy O'Dell and Professor Landry's alibis are in the shitter since now the timeline has been pushed back an hour because the Clippers game Landry claims to have watched actually aired an hour later than thought. Bam! Either of them could have done it. But I'm totally lost as to how Veronica gets to that conclusion.
No! No! Can't... claim... I.... don't.... understand... Must... LIE!!!
I totally got it. I understand all.
Why does that sound like something Amanda from Ugly Betty would say? Think about it.
Since Mindy and Landry are the prime suspects, they obviously aren't the killers. Steve Botando, Mindy's ex-husband who got his BONE MARROW STOLEN by Mindy and the Dean, was somehow involved, but was shot by Sacks after he bashed in Lamb's skull (sob!). Then, that leaves Tim Foyle as a suspect, trying to frame Landry. Or is it shady businessman Mel Stoltz, who was also involved with Coach Berry? My thought (and what I hope is true) is that it's a conspiracy between Nish, Fern, and Claire, as revenge for reinstating the Greek system and invalidating the chaos from the serial rapist.
I do love how this mystery, while completely separate from the rapist plot, is totally affected and intertwined with it. So, it still feels like a season-long mystery, though they are technically separate. And I love the continuity fairies, who I guess have deemed it that in the Neptune universe, whenever a character is dying or dead, the smell of food is always present (Lamb's last words are "I smell bread"; when Veronica thinks Keith is dead, she has a dream where he's in the kitchen and says "Do you smell bacon?").
In personal land, Veronica and Logan are broken up and not emo anymore, Mac and Bronson are dating (and fucking, as we see), Logan begins to have twitches for Parker, and Veronica is appropriately weirded out. When are she and Piz gonna finally get together? Stupid teen angsty drama!
The mystery is wrapped up next week, and I can't fucking wait.
RIP Sheriff Don Lamb. We hardly knew ye.
All in all: A
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Brothers and Sisters 1.15: Love is Difficult
"Well, he said that I wasn't as smart as Hillary Clinton, but I was prettier."
Silly, silly Sarah. You stupid bitch. Honestly, Sarah, you think that just because your husband is talking to another woman doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Plus, didn't your ass almost have an affair with Noah in the pilot? Well, luckily for me, the continuity fairies also seem to remember this, as Sarah tearfully confesses during an extremely awkward couples-therapy session with The Sloane Clone (aka Joel Grey) as their therapist that she was planning on having an affair with Noah long ago, and felt that Dad's infidelity with Holly very well might have been passed down to her. Way to blame everything on your dead father, Sarah.
Speaking of: the writers present the Sarah/Tommy rivalry in a new light - I totally now see that Sarah and Tommy are supposed to be Cain and Abel, which I guess makes Tom Skerritt God. An interesting image, I guess. But honestly, the Cain/Abel slant on the story made things a whole lot more interesting and heartfelt, as I totally jumped on the Tommy bandwagon here. Sarah is a complete control freak, and for the first time, I have absolutely no sympathy for her. And now with Tommy leaving Ojai to go start the winery with Holly, Cain has symbolically killed Abel. But, the question remains, would I want to drink wine bottled by Grace and Dr. Barnett? (For those not in the know, Balthazar Getty and Patricia Wettig were both on Alias, playing Thomas Grace and Dr. Judy Barnett, respectively).
Speaking of Holly (who I guess would be Satan in the whole Bible analogy), I noticed a new cast member in the opening credits, which totally intrigued me - someone named Emily VanCamp, and I was like, "Who the fuck is that?" So, of course, I had to go to IMDB to check her out (in both senses of the word), and while her headshot and resume were there, there was no mention of her being a regular on Brothers and Sisters. I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom was instantly like, "She's their missing sister." Ahhh! Bingo! Holly's daughter Rebecca. Well, I guess this means that she'll be around for a while, and boy does she look like Sarah! Good casting, Casting Gods.
In other story land, Kevin breaks up with Chad because he refuses to come out of the closet (plus, the fact that Michelle's called him, telling him that Chad has left girls to be with guys, then goes back to girls again), which is totally fine with me. I'm all for Kevin finding a neurotic straight-gay like him, but all he finds are either sensitive femmes like Scotty (who I guess was kinda cute with him), or closet-case assholes like Chad. But I suppose the show is all about showing the wide range of current-day homosexuality. Coolbeans, I guess. But Kevin, meanwhile, is a single asshole, as opposed to being a taken asshole. Kitty discovers that the Senator's staff has done a poll on her, since they all know she's fucking him. She gets offended, but the Senator calms her nerves and makes it all funny and shit, which he does a lot.
I wonder if Republicans can be that funny. JUST KIDDING, REPUBLICAN(S)! It's just a joke, and this is just a stupid blog.
Since we're on the subject of the Senator, since he's running for President, wouldn't it be great if Brothers and Sisters did a crossover with 24, and have an assassination attempt on the Senator, all spearheaded by Reed? That would mean Chad Lowe is trying to kill Rob Lowe. That would make for interesting TV.
All in all: B+
Until next time. Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Silly, silly Sarah. You stupid bitch. Honestly, Sarah, you think that just because your husband is talking to another woman doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Plus, didn't your ass almost have an affair with Noah in the pilot? Well, luckily for me, the continuity fairies also seem to remember this, as Sarah tearfully confesses during an extremely awkward couples-therapy session with The Sloane Clone (aka Joel Grey) as their therapist that she was planning on having an affair with Noah long ago, and felt that Dad's infidelity with Holly very well might have been passed down to her. Way to blame everything on your dead father, Sarah.
Speaking of: the writers present the Sarah/Tommy rivalry in a new light - I totally now see that Sarah and Tommy are supposed to be Cain and Abel, which I guess makes Tom Skerritt God. An interesting image, I guess. But honestly, the Cain/Abel slant on the story made things a whole lot more interesting and heartfelt, as I totally jumped on the Tommy bandwagon here. Sarah is a complete control freak, and for the first time, I have absolutely no sympathy for her. And now with Tommy leaving Ojai to go start the winery with Holly, Cain has symbolically killed Abel. But, the question remains, would I want to drink wine bottled by Grace and Dr. Barnett? (For those not in the know, Balthazar Getty and Patricia Wettig were both on Alias, playing Thomas Grace and Dr. Judy Barnett, respectively).
Speaking of Holly (who I guess would be Satan in the whole Bible analogy), I noticed a new cast member in the opening credits, which totally intrigued me - someone named Emily VanCamp, and I was like, "Who the fuck is that?" So, of course, I had to go to IMDB to check her out (in both senses of the word), and while her headshot and resume were there, there was no mention of her being a regular on Brothers and Sisters. I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom was instantly like, "She's their missing sister." Ahhh! Bingo! Holly's daughter Rebecca. Well, I guess this means that she'll be around for a while, and boy does she look like Sarah! Good casting, Casting Gods.
In other story land, Kevin breaks up with Chad because he refuses to come out of the closet (plus, the fact that Michelle's called him, telling him that Chad has left girls to be with guys, then goes back to girls again), which is totally fine with me. I'm all for Kevin finding a neurotic straight-gay like him, but all he finds are either sensitive femmes like Scotty (who I guess was kinda cute with him), or closet-case assholes like Chad. But I suppose the show is all about showing the wide range of current-day homosexuality. Coolbeans, I guess. But Kevin, meanwhile, is a single asshole, as opposed to being a taken asshole. Kitty discovers that the Senator's staff has done a poll on her, since they all know she's fucking him. She gets offended, but the Senator calms her nerves and makes it all funny and shit, which he does a lot.
I wonder if Republicans can be that funny. JUST KIDDING, REPUBLICAN(S)! It's just a joke, and this is just a stupid blog.
Since we're on the subject of the Senator, since he's running for President, wouldn't it be great if Brothers and Sisters did a crossover with 24, and have an assassination attempt on the Senator, all spearheaded by Reed? That would mean Chad Lowe is trying to kill Rob Lowe. That would make for interesting TV.
All in all: B+
Until next time. Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip 1.16: 4AM Miracle
"How did the baby get its head into the guillotine?"
There's a moment early on in this episode where Matt discusses that there's a sketch spoofing Cinemax softcore porn. First of all, I, as an expert of said porn, would have loved to see this sketch. Hey, remember when this show used to show us the sketches? Second, the scenario he describes (which is not at all how a Cinemax porno is told) happens: a tall, blonde executive with glasses walks into the office behind him, played by Kari Matchett. Kari Matchett, also known as AlienMommy from Invasion, is not a softcore porn queen, by the way.
She plays Mary Tate, a lawyer who is searching for witnesses in a case of a former writer who's suing NBS because "she's not one of the boys." Now, the reasoning for her being there were a bit confusing (how could Matt be a character witness if he wasn't working there at the time? Well, whatever, Aaron Sorkin says it is so, then it is so). But it was an interesting way to get into the past of this show. I think that sometimes Aaron writes things that may not make as much sense in real life, but are purely for character purposes, and I'm fine with that.
Meanwhile, something bothers me slightly. Harriet is busy filming the Rolling Stones movie that Luke is directing, and she keeps stopping the take because she doesn't understand her character's motivation or why she's there and it feels untruthful. Which is a fine thought, but a strangely unprofessional way for Harriet to do it. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to just stop filming to ask a question that she should have asked during the table reading. Whatever, though, Sarah Paulson sells it. Oh, and Harriet dumps Luke. In a kinda mean way.
And then we come to Danny and Jordan. Oh... remember when Danny was a recovering coke addict? Remember when Jordan was a rebellious studio head? Yeah, me too. I'm sure that this romance plot is a mixture of NBC interfering with the show creatively ("We need more ratings! Give us another love story!") and a way to mask Amanda Peet's pregnancy, but... a high school practice baby? That cost $600? I don't know. The wacky hijinx surrounding the practice baby didn't sit well with me, but I did like that Danny thought it was ridiculous also, and the thought of a baby getting the Marie Antoinette treatment is fun for me, a sicko who loves dead baby jokes.
I could appreciate Sorkin's diatribe on slipping ratings. Actually, I loved it. And I agreed. Ratings are completely irrelevant when it comes to quality. But, alas, such is the business. But I guess if Studio 60 was on CBS, it would have tons of ratings.
CoughcoughcoughcoughCBSisabunchofliarscoughcoughcough.
All in all: B
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
There's a moment early on in this episode where Matt discusses that there's a sketch spoofing Cinemax softcore porn. First of all, I, as an expert of said porn, would have loved to see this sketch. Hey, remember when this show used to show us the sketches? Second, the scenario he describes (which is not at all how a Cinemax porno is told) happens: a tall, blonde executive with glasses walks into the office behind him, played by Kari Matchett. Kari Matchett, also known as AlienMommy from Invasion, is not a softcore porn queen, by the way.
She plays Mary Tate, a lawyer who is searching for witnesses in a case of a former writer who's suing NBS because "she's not one of the boys." Now, the reasoning for her being there were a bit confusing (how could Matt be a character witness if he wasn't working there at the time? Well, whatever, Aaron Sorkin says it is so, then it is so). But it was an interesting way to get into the past of this show. I think that sometimes Aaron writes things that may not make as much sense in real life, but are purely for character purposes, and I'm fine with that.
Meanwhile, something bothers me slightly. Harriet is busy filming the Rolling Stones movie that Luke is directing, and she keeps stopping the take because she doesn't understand her character's motivation or why she's there and it feels untruthful. Which is a fine thought, but a strangely unprofessional way for Harriet to do it. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to just stop filming to ask a question that she should have asked during the table reading. Whatever, though, Sarah Paulson sells it. Oh, and Harriet dumps Luke. In a kinda mean way.
And then we come to Danny and Jordan. Oh... remember when Danny was a recovering coke addict? Remember when Jordan was a rebellious studio head? Yeah, me too. I'm sure that this romance plot is a mixture of NBC interfering with the show creatively ("We need more ratings! Give us another love story!") and a way to mask Amanda Peet's pregnancy, but... a high school practice baby? That cost $600? I don't know. The wacky hijinx surrounding the practice baby didn't sit well with me, but I did like that Danny thought it was ridiculous also, and the thought of a baby getting the Marie Antoinette treatment is fun for me, a sicko who loves dead baby jokes.
I could appreciate Sorkin's diatribe on slipping ratings. Actually, I loved it. And I agreed. Ratings are completely irrelevant when it comes to quality. But, alas, such is the business. But I guess if Studio 60 was on CBS, it would have tons of ratings.
CoughcoughcoughcoughCBSisabunchofliarscoughcoughcough.
All in all: B
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
24 6.10: Day 6 - 3:00PM - 4:00PM
"You turned your back on me to be a, what? A civil servant?"
But you're wrong, Phillip Bauer. Jack Bauer's not a civil servant, he's America's superhero!
Or at least that's what the 24 fanboys who get hard-ons for Chloe would have you believe. I am one of, like, five people in America who completely disagree.
Jack saves Milo and Marilyn (which, was there any chance that he wouldn't? Maybe if this was Season One), and then Marilyn tearfully confesses that Phillip is holding Josh hostage. Now, let me say this about Rena Sofer as Marilyn Bauer... she is strikingly beautiful (her blue eyes are nearly blinding), and she bears a slight resemblence to Amanda Peet. But, I can't help but compare Marilyn to the bevy of beauties that Jack has had over the years: I'd rank her at the bottom, and this is why. Obviously, my favorite of Jack's leading ladies has been his wife, Teri, because she's his frickin' wife, as well as just being a completely realistic character alongside him, a normal woman caught up in extraordinary circumstances. Plus, I bought the love between them, and her death has been one of the most affecting the show has produced. Ever. Then, in second place is Audrey Raines, because she was awesome and was pretty kick-ass considering she was held hostage, tortured by Jack for being suspected as a mole, been involved in various political intricacies, and had the worst day during Season Four (more on that later). In third place, Kate Warner because, despite only having three facial expressions, had her own insane storyline that affected the others - plus, the drama with Marie was pretty priceless. Fourth and last is a tie between Marilyn, who I think is beautiful, but basically a damsel-in-distress, and Claudia, Jack's Mexican paramour who was a stereotypically fiery Latin spitfire ala Carmen who came and died and was pretty incosequential. Plus, it doesn't help that Rena Sofer hasn't grown as an actress since her days as Lois Ashton on General Hospital. There's a scene where she cries and cries and... no tears... and she keeps crying.
In other story land, Milo is injured and is returned to CTU as a hero, which makes Morris feel like shit... which leads to a potential alcoholic relapse. Which Morris bravely gets rid of, vomiting up the fifth of whiskey that he's just downed outside a liquor store (while leaving his RedBull and Altoids, behind... Hello, Product Placement!). I guess it means that Morris was a bulimic in high school, because he has that curved-finger-in-the-throat thing down! And it makes sense that Morris would have been someone like that in high school, since he is a sensitive British type. "Morris, you're worthless because you're a coward who helped arm some nukes!" "Shut up! This is because I'm fat, isn't it, you sodding wanker?!" BARF. I am also tickled by thoughts that Milo is cringing and moving so slowly at CTU because of the bullet in his arm, while Morris, who had a fucking drill in his shoulder a few hours ago, is operating fine. I will just add that at this juncture, Morris has won me over as my favorite character of the season.
The presidential assassination story, with Lennox and Reed plotting eeeeevil, also tickles me. I think the story itself is fine, but the way the two are presented conspiring with each other is hilarious, particularly in this episode. Honestly, Atlantic Starr's song "Secret Lovers" plays in my head every time they run off to the closet together, whispering in breathy, husky voices. When Lennox decides that it's wrong to try to kill President Palmer (the dumb one), Reed punches him out, hurt and teary, then binds and gags him... very lovingly, as we see in the final box.
Jack's story... blah blah blah. This is a storyline where Kim would have totally benefitted, since Jack flat out tells Phillip that the Bauer family only consists of the two of them, Marilyn, and Josh. I love that Jack (and the writers) have totally forgotten Kim, a regular of the first three seasons that the writers have decided to excise from the universe (despite a few vague mentions of Teri and the elder President Palmer). This season has totally made me miss the characters that the show has written off because I think they would fit better: Tony and Michelle taking the place of Buchanan and Karen would have given more weight to those stories, Kim involved with the current Bauer family plot since she is part of the family and also a "civil servant"... if this show pulled the characters-back-from-the-dead thing, I would have loved to see Sherry be the mastermind behind Wayne's assassination attempt, or maybe trying to stop it. Well... I guess she would have been more useful last season, hunting down David's killers. Alas.
At this point, I submit: Who has had the worst day this season thus far? In my opinion, the following characters have had that honor in seasons past -
Day One - The Bauer family (Jack, Teri, Kim), who went through, respectively, kidnapping, coersion into assassinating a senator, various bombings, shootings, jail, drugs, amnesia, meeting your wife's mistress, and death.
Day Two - President David Palmer, who handled a country through a nuke hunt and its aftermath, dealt with an internal coup, let his ex-wife back into his life only to be betrayed by her again, was temporarily impeached and held captive in the LA Federal Building, and then poisoned through a Fruit Roll-Up of Death applied to his palm.
Day Three - Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler, both of whom dealt with his being shot IN THE NECK, her being trapped in a hotel saturated with a lethal virus, her kidnapping and his committing treason to save her, and the ensuing divorce.
Day Four - Audrey Raines, who was kidnapped, rescued, thought her ex-husband was evil, then fell back in love with him, then saw him die, then thought her father was a terrorist, then found out her brother kinda was, then discovered he was gay, then thought that Jack had died.
Day Five - President David Palmer, Michelle Dessler, and Tony Almeida because they all DIED HORRIBLE DEATHS. But not Edgar. Fuck him, and I'm glad he died! You hear me, 24-verse? I'M GLAD HE DIED!!! Oh, wow. Where are my senses?
Day Six -
Who is it?
Is it President Logan? Well, he's not in this season. Or is he?
Yes, he is! All lumberjacky-looking. Which leads me to wonder, where is Martha? Screwing Aaron Pierce in some exotic locale? And how can Logan help Jack with all this? Oh, 24. You and the questions you ask. Or cause. 'Cuz I ask the questions, you don't. You just answer them. Sometimes.
The best thing about this episode? No Sandra. Fucking. Palmer. Thank God!
All in all: C+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
But you're wrong, Phillip Bauer. Jack Bauer's not a civil servant, he's America's superhero!
Or at least that's what the 24 fanboys who get hard-ons for Chloe would have you believe. I am one of, like, five people in America who completely disagree.
Jack saves Milo and Marilyn (which, was there any chance that he wouldn't? Maybe if this was Season One), and then Marilyn tearfully confesses that Phillip is holding Josh hostage. Now, let me say this about Rena Sofer as Marilyn Bauer... she is strikingly beautiful (her blue eyes are nearly blinding), and she bears a slight resemblence to Amanda Peet. But, I can't help but compare Marilyn to the bevy of beauties that Jack has had over the years: I'd rank her at the bottom, and this is why. Obviously, my favorite of Jack's leading ladies has been his wife, Teri, because she's his frickin' wife, as well as just being a completely realistic character alongside him, a normal woman caught up in extraordinary circumstances. Plus, I bought the love between them, and her death has been one of the most affecting the show has produced. Ever. Then, in second place is Audrey Raines, because she was awesome and was pretty kick-ass considering she was held hostage, tortured by Jack for being suspected as a mole, been involved in various political intricacies, and had the worst day during Season Four (more on that later). In third place, Kate Warner because, despite only having three facial expressions, had her own insane storyline that affected the others - plus, the drama with Marie was pretty priceless. Fourth and last is a tie between Marilyn, who I think is beautiful, but basically a damsel-in-distress, and Claudia, Jack's Mexican paramour who was a stereotypically fiery Latin spitfire ala Carmen who came and died and was pretty incosequential. Plus, it doesn't help that Rena Sofer hasn't grown as an actress since her days as Lois Ashton on General Hospital. There's a scene where she cries and cries and... no tears... and she keeps crying.
In other story land, Milo is injured and is returned to CTU as a hero, which makes Morris feel like shit... which leads to a potential alcoholic relapse. Which Morris bravely gets rid of, vomiting up the fifth of whiskey that he's just downed outside a liquor store (while leaving his RedBull and Altoids, behind... Hello, Product Placement!). I guess it means that Morris was a bulimic in high school, because he has that curved-finger-in-the-throat thing down! And it makes sense that Morris would have been someone like that in high school, since he is a sensitive British type. "Morris, you're worthless because you're a coward who helped arm some nukes!" "Shut up! This is because I'm fat, isn't it, you sodding wanker?!" BARF. I am also tickled by thoughts that Milo is cringing and moving so slowly at CTU because of the bullet in his arm, while Morris, who had a fucking drill in his shoulder a few hours ago, is operating fine. I will just add that at this juncture, Morris has won me over as my favorite character of the season.
The presidential assassination story, with Lennox and Reed plotting eeeeevil, also tickles me. I think the story itself is fine, but the way the two are presented conspiring with each other is hilarious, particularly in this episode. Honestly, Atlantic Starr's song "Secret Lovers" plays in my head every time they run off to the closet together, whispering in breathy, husky voices. When Lennox decides that it's wrong to try to kill President Palmer (the dumb one), Reed punches him out, hurt and teary, then binds and gags him... very lovingly, as we see in the final box.
Jack's story... blah blah blah. This is a storyline where Kim would have totally benefitted, since Jack flat out tells Phillip that the Bauer family only consists of the two of them, Marilyn, and Josh. I love that Jack (and the writers) have totally forgotten Kim, a regular of the first three seasons that the writers have decided to excise from the universe (despite a few vague mentions of Teri and the elder President Palmer). This season has totally made me miss the characters that the show has written off because I think they would fit better: Tony and Michelle taking the place of Buchanan and Karen would have given more weight to those stories, Kim involved with the current Bauer family plot since she is part of the family and also a "civil servant"... if this show pulled the characters-back-from-the-dead thing, I would have loved to see Sherry be the mastermind behind Wayne's assassination attempt, or maybe trying to stop it. Well... I guess she would have been more useful last season, hunting down David's killers. Alas.
At this point, I submit: Who has had the worst day this season thus far? In my opinion, the following characters have had that honor in seasons past -
Day One - The Bauer family (Jack, Teri, Kim), who went through, respectively, kidnapping, coersion into assassinating a senator, various bombings, shootings, jail, drugs, amnesia, meeting your wife's mistress, and death.
Day Two - President David Palmer, who handled a country through a nuke hunt and its aftermath, dealt with an internal coup, let his ex-wife back into his life only to be betrayed by her again, was temporarily impeached and held captive in the LA Federal Building, and then poisoned through a Fruit Roll-Up of Death applied to his palm.
Day Three - Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler, both of whom dealt with his being shot IN THE NECK, her being trapped in a hotel saturated with a lethal virus, her kidnapping and his committing treason to save her, and the ensuing divorce.
Day Four - Audrey Raines, who was kidnapped, rescued, thought her ex-husband was evil, then fell back in love with him, then saw him die, then thought her father was a terrorist, then found out her brother kinda was, then discovered he was gay, then thought that Jack had died.
Day Five - President David Palmer, Michelle Dessler, and Tony Almeida because they all DIED HORRIBLE DEATHS. But not Edgar. Fuck him, and I'm glad he died! You hear me, 24-verse? I'M GLAD HE DIED!!! Oh, wow. Where are my senses?
Day Six -
Who is it?
Is it President Logan? Well, he's not in this season. Or is he?
Yes, he is! All lumberjacky-looking. Which leads me to wonder, where is Martha? Screwing Aaron Pierce in some exotic locale? And how can Logan help Jack with all this? Oh, 24. You and the questions you ask. Or cause. 'Cuz I ask the questions, you don't. You just answer them. Sometimes.
The best thing about this episode? No Sandra. Fucking. Palmer. Thank God!
All in all: C+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
How I Met Your Mother 2.16: Stuff
"I'm stupid, but I've got a bigger rack than you!"
Okay, so I thought the main plot of the episode - Ted and Robin fight over the fact that so much of their stuff (his random knicknacks literally all over the apartment, her dogs) were given to them by exes and they haven't gotten rid of it - was a bit on the dull side. While I thought the visualization of each person's respective stuff as the exes was pretty funny, I don't know... I just think that Ted and Robin together are kinda boring.
Oh, man! Did I just say that? Why, yes I did.
I mean, I love that they're together, mostly because I'm happy for Ted. I see some of myself in Ted (I mean, I know I tend to overidentify with characters a lot, and Ted is one of them)... not completely, but I guess I see a lot of the friendship between me and my best friend in the friendship between Ted and Marshall. So I identify. But, Ted and Robin are just... kinda dull when they're in love and together. It's the same argument that Alanis Morissette's music just isn't as good when she's happy in a relationship as when she's angry and sad. Both are good, just one's better on a purely entertainment level.
This episode spelled some interesting things for them, though, in my opinion. Firstly, I was convinced last season that Barney had the hots for Robin and that they'd end up together when the show ended. This episode had a slight reference - Barney saying out of the blue: "Yeah, you two should break up already" - that makes me think I might be right. Plus, the episode end revelation that Ted and Robin are going to break up makes me think that this might be the beginning of the end for them.
The subplot, however: Pure Fucking Genius! Lily gets asked by a friend to be in a grungy frige play in a tiny cramped room several stories up, where the stage manager is also the lighting designer and sound effects guy, and where the three/four actors stand in black, pretending to be vices that are destroying our society. Plus, it's three hours long. It totally was a stereotype of bad theater, yet also very accurate, which is very hard to pull off. It reminded me of some of Karen Finlay's performance pieces we had to watch at UCLA in our Theater history classes, so I had lots of fun with it. But I wonder if it was as funny for people who aren't into theater? Probably, since it was such a stereotype.
Barney gets revenge by putting up his own play, where he stands up for forty-five minutes reciting Lily's least favorite word "moist." I found that hilarious, because she unintentionally twitches every time the word is uttered, most like I cringe every time I hear the word "c-a-c-a" (I can't even spell the damn word) or the phrase "Let's have a quick bite." Ick! He then sprays her with a water gun, then portrays a massive love story between a robot (him) and a toaster oven (played by a toaster oven).
Oh! And Marshall gave Barney Slap #2! Three more to go! Love the continuity fairies.
I think this show has definitely fallen to the wayside for me because it's not as "loud," if you will, as some other shows, but it's definitely a great show, and a very realistic one, obviously since Craig and Carter have based this mostly on their lives. I am excited to see where the show goes.
All in all: B+
Well, until next time... same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Okay, so I thought the main plot of the episode - Ted and Robin fight over the fact that so much of their stuff (his random knicknacks literally all over the apartment, her dogs) were given to them by exes and they haven't gotten rid of it - was a bit on the dull side. While I thought the visualization of each person's respective stuff as the exes was pretty funny, I don't know... I just think that Ted and Robin together are kinda boring.
Oh, man! Did I just say that? Why, yes I did.
I mean, I love that they're together, mostly because I'm happy for Ted. I see some of myself in Ted (I mean, I know I tend to overidentify with characters a lot, and Ted is one of them)... not completely, but I guess I see a lot of the friendship between me and my best friend in the friendship between Ted and Marshall. So I identify. But, Ted and Robin are just... kinda dull when they're in love and together. It's the same argument that Alanis Morissette's music just isn't as good when she's happy in a relationship as when she's angry and sad. Both are good, just one's better on a purely entertainment level.
This episode spelled some interesting things for them, though, in my opinion. Firstly, I was convinced last season that Barney had the hots for Robin and that they'd end up together when the show ended. This episode had a slight reference - Barney saying out of the blue: "Yeah, you two should break up already" - that makes me think I might be right. Plus, the episode end revelation that Ted and Robin are going to break up makes me think that this might be the beginning of the end for them.
The subplot, however: Pure Fucking Genius! Lily gets asked by a friend to be in a grungy frige play in a tiny cramped room several stories up, where the stage manager is also the lighting designer and sound effects guy, and where the three/four actors stand in black, pretending to be vices that are destroying our society. Plus, it's three hours long. It totally was a stereotype of bad theater, yet also very accurate, which is very hard to pull off. It reminded me of some of Karen Finlay's performance pieces we had to watch at UCLA in our Theater history classes, so I had lots of fun with it. But I wonder if it was as funny for people who aren't into theater? Probably, since it was such a stereotype.
Barney gets revenge by putting up his own play, where he stands up for forty-five minutes reciting Lily's least favorite word "moist." I found that hilarious, because she unintentionally twitches every time the word is uttered, most like I cringe every time I hear the word "c-a-c-a" (I can't even spell the damn word) or the phrase "Let's have a quick bite." Ick! He then sprays her with a water gun, then portrays a massive love story between a robot (him) and a toaster oven (played by a toaster oven).
Oh! And Marshall gave Barney Slap #2! Three more to go! Love the continuity fairies.
I think this show has definitely fallen to the wayside for me because it's not as "loud," if you will, as some other shows, but it's definitely a great show, and a very realistic one, obviously since Craig and Carter have based this mostly on their lives. I am excited to see where the show goes.
All in all: B+
Well, until next time... same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Desperate Housewives 3.15: The Little Things You Do Together
"Do the whole jealous Latin ex-husband thing you do!"
Let's begin the blogging madness!
The episode begins with one of Mary Alice's longest recaps. EVER. Which, obviously means that this episode's gonna be good. Which, why wouldn't it be? It's in the middle of February sweeps, it's written by Marc Cherry, and... but then again, I flashback to last season's Februray sweeps episodes: Drunk Bree losing Lynette's demon spawn, Karl proposes to Susan so she can get medical insurance for her floating spleen surgery (you read that correctly)... oh God! Let's hope that it won't be that bad! But then again, we have a great twisty murder mystery involving all our women, as opposed to Betty Applewhite hiding her reatrded spawn in the basement. So, it should be good, right?
Right it is! Even the boring subplot is awesome: Lynette and Tom opening the pizzeria. While the Scavos have traditionally had the short end of the stick when it comes to the story department (Lynette going back to work, anyone?), I realize it is so because out of all the characters, Lynette is the most realisitc of all the housewives and whatever, and, honestly, Lynette and Tom battling over who has the balls to run the restaurant isn't even the worst that Cherry and associates have put Felicity Huffman through. But, when the big opening comes and it turns out Lynette ordered the wrong chairs, she goes around the neighborhood grabbing as many chairs from her neighbors to put in the restaurant. In fact, one of the episode's funniest moments came during a seriocomic scene between Gabrielle and Carlos. In the middle of their discussion on Gabrielle's porch, Lynette and her crew run out the front door, elegant chairs in tow. And then, at the opening, Tom gives a heartfelt speech about how Lynette has helped him throughout the opening and how it's wonderful that they're working together... he even cries! Awww!
Next plot up: the Susan/Ian/Mike triangle. Susan and Ian go to the hospital to get Jane's personal effects. By sheer coincidence as only possible on these shows, the hospital mixed up Jane's things with Mike's things. Ian spots the ring that Mike was going to propose to Susan with and decides to propose to her himself... at the pizzeria! Mike, of course, is kinda heartbroken, which will lead to all sorts of fun later, I'm sure. Susan, of course, accepts, which is cool because I like Ian, as opposed to not liking it when she married Karl last season. Ick!
Anyways...
Creepy Zack, with his moppy wig of hair, has now convinced Gabrielle that they had sex last night, which is pretty gross, considering that:
A) Gabby and Mary Alice were best friends back in the day
B) Gabby is about fifteen years older than Creepy Zack (if we assume Creepy Zack is 18 and Gabby is in her mid-30s)... and while the Mrs. Robinson thing is hot in "The Graduate" and "American Pie," it is NOT hot here
C) Creepy Zack is, well, creepy. And extremely pasty. He's shirtless, and his extremely white skin almost blends in with the pale grey boxers. Kinda gross.
Even grosser than that? The fact that Creepy Zack has a huge penis, which is confirmed by Carlos, when he attempts to intimidate Creepy Zack in the pizzeria bathroom into leaving Gabby alone. Carlos surmises that the Creepy Cock is too big for Gabby to not remember fucking Creepy Zack, so Gabby confronts Creepy Zack into confessing that he made up the whole thing. And then Creepy Zack proposes to Gabby after Ian proposes to Susan, and everyone is appropriately creeped out. When some stranger who obviously doesn't live in Fairview or on Wisteria Lane begins to applaud, Gabby snaps, "No! There will be no applause here!" Then, she breaks Creepy Zack's heart, and he disappears into the night. I'm sure he will be back in some fashion.
Now, the A-plot: Who killed Monique Polier? And how is the Hodge family connected? While every road totally pointed to Orson doing it (which obviously meant he didn't), it was revealed that... well, let's get to things in order. Orson survives his fall by having the fall softened by a tree, during which he flashes to the night that Monique was murdered by... his mother Gloria! Dun dun DUN! Gloria blackmails Orson into helping her dispose of the body, because, we discover, Orson caused his father's suicide when he was a teenager (hence his freaking out when Danielle faked suicide). But, of course, Orson later surmises that Gloria killed his father, too, because he was cheating on her. Which is why Gloria killed Monique and favored Alma... and then tries to kill a bedridden Bree. Um, overidentify much? Andrew tries to save Bree (but he's knocked out by Gloria's cane), but then Orson does it, gets into a psychological-thriller-finale fight with Gloria, throwing her to the floor and causing her to go into a stroke. He then takes the paralyzed Gloria to Alma's house across the street, where Alma is dead in the rosebushes (she escaped the attic where Gloria had her hostage, then falls off the roof while trying to get Danielle's attention). The police surmise that Alma killed Monique (Orson plants the bag of teeth next to her body, along with her faux-suicide note) and that Gloria had a stroke when she found the body, which totally exhonorates Mike. It's all terribly convenient, but wonderfully satisfying.
Which gets me to thinking... where will the rest of the season go from here? It's ballsy of Cherry and associates to wrap up the season mystery with six episodes left, which leaves the question of whether they are going to start planting seeds for Season Four, or just basic stand-alones. I would love to see some of the stories from earlier in the season that were just touched on revisited, like pedophile Art returning to the neighborhood, or Carolyn Bigsby... well, she's dead. But I would LOVE it if she weren't dead. Ahh, well. According to the previews, Danielle is pregnant, Edie's long-lost son returns, and...
All in all: A
See you in two weeks, Wisteria Lane! Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Let's begin the blogging madness!
The episode begins with one of Mary Alice's longest recaps. EVER. Which, obviously means that this episode's gonna be good. Which, why wouldn't it be? It's in the middle of February sweeps, it's written by Marc Cherry, and... but then again, I flashback to last season's Februray sweeps episodes: Drunk Bree losing Lynette's demon spawn, Karl proposes to Susan so she can get medical insurance for her floating spleen surgery (you read that correctly)... oh God! Let's hope that it won't be that bad! But then again, we have a great twisty murder mystery involving all our women, as opposed to Betty Applewhite hiding her reatrded spawn in the basement. So, it should be good, right?
Right it is! Even the boring subplot is awesome: Lynette and Tom opening the pizzeria. While the Scavos have traditionally had the short end of the stick when it comes to the story department (Lynette going back to work, anyone?), I realize it is so because out of all the characters, Lynette is the most realisitc of all the housewives and whatever, and, honestly, Lynette and Tom battling over who has the balls to run the restaurant isn't even the worst that Cherry and associates have put Felicity Huffman through. But, when the big opening comes and it turns out Lynette ordered the wrong chairs, she goes around the neighborhood grabbing as many chairs from her neighbors to put in the restaurant. In fact, one of the episode's funniest moments came during a seriocomic scene between Gabrielle and Carlos. In the middle of their discussion on Gabrielle's porch, Lynette and her crew run out the front door, elegant chairs in tow. And then, at the opening, Tom gives a heartfelt speech about how Lynette has helped him throughout the opening and how it's wonderful that they're working together... he even cries! Awww!
Next plot up: the Susan/Ian/Mike triangle. Susan and Ian go to the hospital to get Jane's personal effects. By sheer coincidence as only possible on these shows, the hospital mixed up Jane's things with Mike's things. Ian spots the ring that Mike was going to propose to Susan with and decides to propose to her himself... at the pizzeria! Mike, of course, is kinda heartbroken, which will lead to all sorts of fun later, I'm sure. Susan, of course, accepts, which is cool because I like Ian, as opposed to not liking it when she married Karl last season. Ick!
Anyways...
Creepy Zack, with his moppy wig of hair, has now convinced Gabrielle that they had sex last night, which is pretty gross, considering that:
A) Gabby and Mary Alice were best friends back in the day
B) Gabby is about fifteen years older than Creepy Zack (if we assume Creepy Zack is 18 and Gabby is in her mid-30s)... and while the Mrs. Robinson thing is hot in "The Graduate" and "American Pie," it is NOT hot here
C) Creepy Zack is, well, creepy. And extremely pasty. He's shirtless, and his extremely white skin almost blends in with the pale grey boxers. Kinda gross.
Even grosser than that? The fact that Creepy Zack has a huge penis, which is confirmed by Carlos, when he attempts to intimidate Creepy Zack in the pizzeria bathroom into leaving Gabby alone. Carlos surmises that the Creepy Cock is too big for Gabby to not remember fucking Creepy Zack, so Gabby confronts Creepy Zack into confessing that he made up the whole thing. And then Creepy Zack proposes to Gabby after Ian proposes to Susan, and everyone is appropriately creeped out. When some stranger who obviously doesn't live in Fairview or on Wisteria Lane begins to applaud, Gabby snaps, "No! There will be no applause here!" Then, she breaks Creepy Zack's heart, and he disappears into the night. I'm sure he will be back in some fashion.
Now, the A-plot: Who killed Monique Polier? And how is the Hodge family connected? While every road totally pointed to Orson doing it (which obviously meant he didn't), it was revealed that... well, let's get to things in order. Orson survives his fall by having the fall softened by a tree, during which he flashes to the night that Monique was murdered by... his mother Gloria! Dun dun DUN! Gloria blackmails Orson into helping her dispose of the body, because, we discover, Orson caused his father's suicide when he was a teenager (hence his freaking out when Danielle faked suicide). But, of course, Orson later surmises that Gloria killed his father, too, because he was cheating on her. Which is why Gloria killed Monique and favored Alma... and then tries to kill a bedridden Bree. Um, overidentify much? Andrew tries to save Bree (but he's knocked out by Gloria's cane), but then Orson does it, gets into a psychological-thriller-finale fight with Gloria, throwing her to the floor and causing her to go into a stroke. He then takes the paralyzed Gloria to Alma's house across the street, where Alma is dead in the rosebushes (she escaped the attic where Gloria had her hostage, then falls off the roof while trying to get Danielle's attention). The police surmise that Alma killed Monique (Orson plants the bag of teeth next to her body, along with her faux-suicide note) and that Gloria had a stroke when she found the body, which totally exhonorates Mike. It's all terribly convenient, but wonderfully satisfying.
Which gets me to thinking... where will the rest of the season go from here? It's ballsy of Cherry and associates to wrap up the season mystery with six episodes left, which leaves the question of whether they are going to start planting seeds for Season Four, or just basic stand-alones. I would love to see some of the stories from earlier in the season that were just touched on revisited, like pedophile Art returning to the neighborhood, or Carolyn Bigsby... well, she's dead. But I would LOVE it if she weren't dead. Ahh, well. According to the previews, Danielle is pregnant, Edie's long-lost son returns, and...
All in all: A
See you in two weeks, Wisteria Lane! Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Pilot (or How I Learned to Stop Watching and Pretend That I'm a Douchebaggy Professor in TV)
I am pretty excited about beginning this new blog. I have been pretty fascinated by the blogging community as of late, and finally I can now be part of it. Well, I guess you could say I've been a part of it since 2001 when I started my LiveJournal. But that was different... that was just crap about my life. That was boring. This blog will have Something Important to say. Something about society, about life. About... TV.
Shut up. TV is very important! It shows us what kind of a culture we are currently in. Like any other business, television caters to the demands of the public. A few years ago, people wanted dumbed-down "experimental" entertainment - hence the wasteland that was the Reality TV era. Not that I'm knocking Reality TV - I have my own personal favorites with "Big Brother," "The Amazing Race," and the amazingness that is the "Flavor of Love"/"I Love New York" empire.
But now, it looks like society is split into several large factions: the Procedurals and the Serials. Procedurals began a few years ago with the groundbreaking "CSI" in 2000, and has gone on to spawn the rest of the "CSI" franchise, "Cold Case," "Without a Trace," "Bones," etc. Granted, probably procedurals started with "Law and Order," and, more specifically, "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit," but I credit the original Las Vegas-based "CSI" as beginning the current trend. These shows deal with one case an episode, with the investigators, well, investigating a case and coming up with a conclusion at the end of the episode. Now, the shows have several character arcs that continue on, but nothing in the realm of story, really, unless it's sweeps, such as "CSI," which this month has brought back The Miniature Killer, a serial killer who plants miniature dioramas of his crime scenes at the crime scenes. But usually, these don't go on for that long. "CSI" was the reigning scripted drama of the last few years, until "Grey's Anatomy" beat it this year. Despite the Serials gaining high watercooler and pop culture status, more Procedurals win in the ratings game then not.
Now, onto the Serials: Serials are shows that have several long-running character and story arcs over the course of any number of seasons. Serials began back in the 1980's, when prime-time soaps like "Dallas," "Dynasty," and "Knots Landing" gained popularity. In the early-90's, serials got a strange sci-fi/mystery twist to them when David Lynch and Mark Frost created "Twin Peaks," which gave birth to "Genre TV," which then gave birth to "The X-Files," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and all other number of shows, the descendants which are continuing today. Now, there are several subgenres within Serial TV: Genre serials, which are the more fantastical of the bunch, which include "Lost," "Heroes," "Battlestar Galactica," "Jericho," and the now-dead "Alias," "Buffy," and "Angel"; Mystery serials, which have one on-going mystery a season, which includes "Veronica Mars" and... "Prison Break," I guess; Sitcom serials, sitcoms that rely on you watching every episode to follow the story, which includes "Entourage" and the now-dead "Arrested Development" and "Sex and the City"; Gimmick serials, serials that are predicated on a particular gimmick, such as "24" and the now-dead "Day Break" and "The Nine," all of which were spawned by the 90's underrated classic "Murder One"; Serial serials, which are like old-school serials in that they have ongoing arcs, but no central story per se, such as "Grey's Anatomy," "Nip/Tuck," "Brothers and Sisters," "The Sopranos," and "The Shield"; and mixture serials, which are mixtures of any of the above, which include "Desperate Housewives," "Ugly Betty," and "Weeds."
Traditionalism is being thrown out the window currently. Even though sitcoms still are around, traditional three-camera sitcoms are becoming more and more irrelevant (even though the Nielsens claim that "Three and a Half Men" is the number one sitcom... which I find suspect... expect a blog on CBS's lies in a little while). What began with "Seinfeld" (a traditional sitcom in terms of being three-camera with a live audience, but groundbreaking in that the characters were not a family or co-workers... just apathetic neurotic friends) culminated in the new single-camera sitcom. Pioneered by "Arrested Development," filmed as a documentary with one-camera and no laugh track, the new sitcom continues strong with "The Office," "My Name is Earl," "Scrubs," "30 Rock," and "Knights of Prosperity." There are a few traditional sitcoms, but some, like "How I Met Your Mother," throw three-camera physics out the window and proceed with flashbacks, flash-forwards, and asides, despite the idea of a "live" audience.
Another fun thing to see now is how some shows blatantly borrow from others. While this has always gone on (what law show doesn't look like another, sometimes?), even the stylistic differences across genres are being taken. For instance: I love snappy dialogue on TV. Arguably, this began with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," where the students of Sunnydale High spoke in a highly stylized near-"Heathers"-level of nonexistent slang. This led to other such stylized speakings, like "Gilmore Girls," which is famous for its Preston Sturges speed and its ability to squeeze in seven pop culture references in ten seconds, "Veronica Mars," which prides itself on Dashiell Hammet speed and snap, and "Grey's Anatomy," which has seen the inside jokes and nicknames spoken by its characters (McDreamy, "Seriously!", vahjayjay, etc.) become part of the national lexicon. The fun part of all this is seeing a show like "Bones" try to bogart this stylized speech for itself. It works fine, but it's funny because it wasn't there at the beginning. Only until recently have Bones and Booth had back-and-forth banter not seen on a Procedural.
Well, that's enough of me waxing douchebag on TV. This blog will consist mostly of reviews of the TV I watch, along with the occassional post about where I think culture is headed with TV and vice versa. I really hope you stay tuned for it.
Until then. Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Shut up. TV is very important! It shows us what kind of a culture we are currently in. Like any other business, television caters to the demands of the public. A few years ago, people wanted dumbed-down "experimental" entertainment - hence the wasteland that was the Reality TV era. Not that I'm knocking Reality TV - I have my own personal favorites with "Big Brother," "The Amazing Race," and the amazingness that is the "Flavor of Love"/"I Love New York" empire.
But now, it looks like society is split into several large factions: the Procedurals and the Serials. Procedurals began a few years ago with the groundbreaking "CSI" in 2000, and has gone on to spawn the rest of the "CSI" franchise, "Cold Case," "Without a Trace," "Bones," etc. Granted, probably procedurals started with "Law and Order," and, more specifically, "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit," but I credit the original Las Vegas-based "CSI" as beginning the current trend. These shows deal with one case an episode, with the investigators, well, investigating a case and coming up with a conclusion at the end of the episode. Now, the shows have several character arcs that continue on, but nothing in the realm of story, really, unless it's sweeps, such as "CSI," which this month has brought back The Miniature Killer, a serial killer who plants miniature dioramas of his crime scenes at the crime scenes. But usually, these don't go on for that long. "CSI" was the reigning scripted drama of the last few years, until "Grey's Anatomy" beat it this year. Despite the Serials gaining high watercooler and pop culture status, more Procedurals win in the ratings game then not.
Now, onto the Serials: Serials are shows that have several long-running character and story arcs over the course of any number of seasons. Serials began back in the 1980's, when prime-time soaps like "Dallas," "Dynasty," and "Knots Landing" gained popularity. In the early-90's, serials got a strange sci-fi/mystery twist to them when David Lynch and Mark Frost created "Twin Peaks," which gave birth to "Genre TV," which then gave birth to "The X-Files," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and all other number of shows, the descendants which are continuing today. Now, there are several subgenres within Serial TV: Genre serials, which are the more fantastical of the bunch, which include "Lost," "Heroes," "Battlestar Galactica," "Jericho," and the now-dead "Alias," "Buffy," and "Angel"; Mystery serials, which have one on-going mystery a season, which includes "Veronica Mars" and... "Prison Break," I guess; Sitcom serials, sitcoms that rely on you watching every episode to follow the story, which includes "Entourage" and the now-dead "Arrested Development" and "Sex and the City"; Gimmick serials, serials that are predicated on a particular gimmick, such as "24" and the now-dead "Day Break" and "The Nine," all of which were spawned by the 90's underrated classic "Murder One"; Serial serials, which are like old-school serials in that they have ongoing arcs, but no central story per se, such as "Grey's Anatomy," "Nip/Tuck," "Brothers and Sisters," "The Sopranos," and "The Shield"; and mixture serials, which are mixtures of any of the above, which include "Desperate Housewives," "Ugly Betty," and "Weeds."
Traditionalism is being thrown out the window currently. Even though sitcoms still are around, traditional three-camera sitcoms are becoming more and more irrelevant (even though the Nielsens claim that "Three and a Half Men" is the number one sitcom... which I find suspect... expect a blog on CBS's lies in a little while). What began with "Seinfeld" (a traditional sitcom in terms of being three-camera with a live audience, but groundbreaking in that the characters were not a family or co-workers... just apathetic neurotic friends) culminated in the new single-camera sitcom. Pioneered by "Arrested Development," filmed as a documentary with one-camera and no laugh track, the new sitcom continues strong with "The Office," "My Name is Earl," "Scrubs," "30 Rock," and "Knights of Prosperity." There are a few traditional sitcoms, but some, like "How I Met Your Mother," throw three-camera physics out the window and proceed with flashbacks, flash-forwards, and asides, despite the idea of a "live" audience.
Another fun thing to see now is how some shows blatantly borrow from others. While this has always gone on (what law show doesn't look like another, sometimes?), even the stylistic differences across genres are being taken. For instance: I love snappy dialogue on TV. Arguably, this began with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," where the students of Sunnydale High spoke in a highly stylized near-"Heathers"-level of nonexistent slang. This led to other such stylized speakings, like "Gilmore Girls," which is famous for its Preston Sturges speed and its ability to squeeze in seven pop culture references in ten seconds, "Veronica Mars," which prides itself on Dashiell Hammet speed and snap, and "Grey's Anatomy," which has seen the inside jokes and nicknames spoken by its characters (McDreamy, "Seriously!", vahjayjay, etc.) become part of the national lexicon. The fun part of all this is seeing a show like "Bones" try to bogart this stylized speech for itself. It works fine, but it's funny because it wasn't there at the beginning. Only until recently have Bones and Booth had back-and-forth banter not seen on a Procedural.
Well, that's enough of me waxing douchebag on TV. This blog will consist mostly of reviews of the TV I watch, along with the occassional post about where I think culture is headed with TV and vice versa. I really hope you stay tuned for it.
Until then. Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
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