"Dammit!"
Um... I do believe that this was the first time this season that Jack has uttered his now famous catchphrase. Oh, I remember when the catchphrase was something more creative, like "Today is the longest day of my life" or "Somebody get me a hacksaw!"
Um... I really don't remember much about this episode. That's how memorable it was. I do remember that Jack and Logan travel to the Russian Consulate because Logan is positive that the Consul is connected to the terrorist attacks. Logan has a private meeting with the Consul, who is completely stereotypically over-the-top, so I'll start calling him Boris. Boris is shifty-eyed, and verry verry eeeevil, so he's totally involved. Which he is - he calls Gredenko and is all, "They're heere!" Logan tells Jack that Boris is lying, so Jack breaks back into the Consulate (idiot!) and gets caught (idiot!) and the best part is that this has already happened to him (bigger idiot!). On the plus side of this, Jack tortures Boris and gets pertinent information out of him, and then is caught. Dammit!
Meanwhile, Wayne isn't dead (awww!) and Dr. Bashir is dead (AWWWW!!), so Evil Daniels takes over. Evil Daniels is notified by Logan that Boris knows where Gredenko is, so Evil Daniels has a kinda awkward phone conversation with President Suvarov, promising retalliation or something. I kinda forgot. All I do remember is that Logan realizes that Martha is the only person who can get the Suvarovs to cooperate... with... something. Oh! Giving the okay to barge in on the Consulate. Right. Oh, and all these hours that Karen Hayes has been MIA (supposedly on an airplane to LA), she's really been chilling in the airport, so she's all, "I think I'ma go back to work." Yes.
"Secret Lovers": Reed tells his ONE co-conspirator to let Lennox go, and Lennox agrees to remain silent. Then, he totally turns Reed in, and Reed has the shocked and betrayed look only one wronged lover can give another. But all is right (wrong) with the world when Evil Daniels gives Lennox a Faustian offer: say that Dr. Bashir was behind the assassination attempt, and then Evil Daniels will turn the US into a police state like Lennox wanted. So Lennox's all, "Okay."
Whatever. I was bored. This show is getting boring. Like, yeah, there were explosions and shit because nowadays there are always explosions and shit, but none of it meant anything to me and the story's getting ridiculous. In a bad way. Not even over-the-top melodrama, but just very very VERY sloppily written. Because it's just boring.
Oh! And Sean Callery (the composer) totally ripped off John Williams' JFK score for this episode, and no, that's not cool. Just because the original was a good score doesn't mean you can just take it and put it in your own project when it doesn't have the same context. If Callery had stolen the E.T. theme and put it in a scene with Chloe doing some computer stuff and talking technobabble, people would be making a shit fit. So, I am with this. While in JFK, said piece of music was used when Laurie Metcalfe describes the possibility that Lee Harvey Oswald was a US spy in Russia, here, it's Logan thinking and talking with Jack, very calmly, sans urgency. Whatever.
All in all: C-
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Monday, March 5, 2007
Rome 2.07: Death Mask
"On order of the Triumverate, during Prince Herod's residency here, all mockery of Jews and their one God shall be kept to an appropriate minimum!"
There are many reasons to love Rome: epic panoramic scenes, a cast of... hundreds, powerful Royal Shakespeare Company-trained actors, wonderful scripts, amazing set and costume design, etc. However, there are three main resons why I love it: the blood, the fucking, and the evil bitch catfights. And that's what this episode was - many, many catfights. Let's see, shall we?
1. Memmio vs. Vorenus: We finally discover what Memmio's eeevil plan to bring Vorenus down is. He has Omnipor fucking Vorena (which he does, which is kinda gross, seeing as how Omnipor is like a skinny, greasy hippie, and Vorena still looks like she's thirteen), then catches them (which he does), then basically blackmails Vorena into spying on Vorenus for him (which she begins to do, but finds nothing of importance this episode) or else he will tell Vorenus on her (which at first, she doesn't care because she "HATES HIM!!!" as she yells every chance she gets... then she realizes that he totally has the power and the rage to kill her (which he wouldn't... dumb teenager)). This plan, I fear, is the beginning of the end of the Vorenii.
2. Eirene vs. Gaia: Gaia is walking around all high and mighty, and when Eirene commands her to do some chore, Gaia's all, "Fuck you." Then Eirene's all, "I'm gonna tell Pullo to beat the shit out of you!" Then Pullo goes to beat Gaia, which only leads to them fucking (no!!!). Well, actually, he beats her while he's fucking her, which she totally digs. After that, Gaia is totally placated, and Eirene gives her a "I'm still wifey, bitch!" look, to which Gaia responds with a "You don't know this, bitch, but this ripper's fucking him!" Eirene tells Pullo that he should beat Gaia once a month, which goes to prove that no one can be crueler than an ex-slave. Or a pregnant ex-slave, in Eirene's case. Or "plegnant," as poor foreign Eirene says. At the end of the episode, Gaia travels to some apothocary, who gives her some ancient Roman abortion drug. And the evil look on Gaia's face tells us that it's not for her. Dun dun DUN!!! So... the Romans were pro-choice, then.
3. The World vs. Jocasta: Now that Jocasta's gone down in the social ladder due her family being massacred, it's up to Atia to marry her off. To Posca. Oh, that's fucked up! Can Atia be any meaner? Oh, yes she can... by making the wedding take place in the fucking stable. As opposed to the fucking stable. Jocasta's bawling all through the ceremony, but I don't know whether it's because she's marrying Posca or because she really, really needs a joint.
4. Timon and Levi vs. Herod: Herod has rolled into town to give a bribe to the triumverate to become the king of Judea. Timon and Levi obviously don't like this idea, so Levi comes up with the brilliant idea of assassinating him at the wedding tomorrow (which wedding? We'll find out later). Timon is sad since he knows they won't emerge alive, and has a last supper with his family. No pun intended. At the wedding, the brothers are ready when suddenly Timon has a change of heart after seeing Atia (who he's still totally in love with). Plus, I think he remembered that he was in the middle of his redemption arc. Levi gets pissed, they struggle, Timon accidentally stabs and kills Levi. The look on Timon's face, by the way, is heartbreaking.
5. Antony vs. Octavian: The triumverate's totally on shaky ground, especially with Herod giving them the bribe that they don't know how to divy up. In order to bring stability to the triumverate and the republic, Octavian proposes a marriage between Antony and one of the women in Octavian's family. The logical choice is Atia, seeing as how she and Antony are the same age and how they're fucking and how Atia's in love with him. But, alas, Octavian has the last laugh by arranging the marriage between Antony and Octavia. Obviously, no one is happy at the wedding except Octavian, and by happy, I mean he blinks once as opposed to not blinking. Antony is uncomfortable, Atia is heartbroken and pissed, and Octavia and Agrippa are in agony. But, I guess, life's a bitch, and so is Octavian. And just because the marriage was political doesn't mean there can't be sex... all Antony needs is some spit for lube and a willing body to do it doggie style.
And now, the catfight of all catfights:
6. Atia and Servilia: Servilia is racked with grief over Brutus' death, quite obviously, since she was his mother and all. She then pulls a Cindy Sheehan and stands outside Atia's door, yelling "Atia of the Julii, I call for justice!" And this is totally where good RSC Voice and Speech training comes in handy for Lindsay Duncan. She stands out there for days, and then Atia shows up at the door. Servilia, now covered by Brutus' ashes, ushers out one of her epic curses to Atia ("Gods below, I am Servilia of the most ancient and sacred Junii upon whose bones the seven hills of Rome are built. I summon you to listen. Curse this woman! Send her bitterness and despair for all of her life! Let her taste nothing but ashes and iron! Gods of the underworld, all that I have left I give to you in sacrifice if you will make it so!" ) And then, she stabs herself with a sword. Wow. Like... wow! Servilia's dead! Then her slave kills herself. All in the street in front of Atia, Antony, Octavia, and the others. Atia totally starts taking this curse stuff to heart, since after the wedding she believes the curse may be coming true. Point: Servilia.
I am so SAD that there are only three episodes left!
All in all: A
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
There are many reasons to love Rome: epic panoramic scenes, a cast of... hundreds, powerful Royal Shakespeare Company-trained actors, wonderful scripts, amazing set and costume design, etc. However, there are three main resons why I love it: the blood, the fucking, and the evil bitch catfights. And that's what this episode was - many, many catfights. Let's see, shall we?
1. Memmio vs. Vorenus: We finally discover what Memmio's eeevil plan to bring Vorenus down is. He has Omnipor fucking Vorena (which he does, which is kinda gross, seeing as how Omnipor is like a skinny, greasy hippie, and Vorena still looks like she's thirteen), then catches them (which he does), then basically blackmails Vorena into spying on Vorenus for him (which she begins to do, but finds nothing of importance this episode) or else he will tell Vorenus on her (which at first, she doesn't care because she "HATES HIM!!!" as she yells every chance she gets... then she realizes that he totally has the power and the rage to kill her (which he wouldn't... dumb teenager)). This plan, I fear, is the beginning of the end of the Vorenii.
2. Eirene vs. Gaia: Gaia is walking around all high and mighty, and when Eirene commands her to do some chore, Gaia's all, "Fuck you." Then Eirene's all, "I'm gonna tell Pullo to beat the shit out of you!" Then Pullo goes to beat Gaia, which only leads to them fucking (no!!!). Well, actually, he beats her while he's fucking her, which she totally digs. After that, Gaia is totally placated, and Eirene gives her a "I'm still wifey, bitch!" look, to which Gaia responds with a "You don't know this, bitch, but this ripper's fucking him!" Eirene tells Pullo that he should beat Gaia once a month, which goes to prove that no one can be crueler than an ex-slave. Or a pregnant ex-slave, in Eirene's case. Or "plegnant," as poor foreign Eirene says. At the end of the episode, Gaia travels to some apothocary, who gives her some ancient Roman abortion drug. And the evil look on Gaia's face tells us that it's not for her. Dun dun DUN!!! So... the Romans were pro-choice, then.
3. The World vs. Jocasta: Now that Jocasta's gone down in the social ladder due her family being massacred, it's up to Atia to marry her off. To Posca. Oh, that's fucked up! Can Atia be any meaner? Oh, yes she can... by making the wedding take place in the fucking stable. As opposed to the fucking stable. Jocasta's bawling all through the ceremony, but I don't know whether it's because she's marrying Posca or because she really, really needs a joint.
4. Timon and Levi vs. Herod: Herod has rolled into town to give a bribe to the triumverate to become the king of Judea. Timon and Levi obviously don't like this idea, so Levi comes up with the brilliant idea of assassinating him at the wedding tomorrow (which wedding? We'll find out later). Timon is sad since he knows they won't emerge alive, and has a last supper with his family. No pun intended. At the wedding, the brothers are ready when suddenly Timon has a change of heart after seeing Atia (who he's still totally in love with). Plus, I think he remembered that he was in the middle of his redemption arc. Levi gets pissed, they struggle, Timon accidentally stabs and kills Levi. The look on Timon's face, by the way, is heartbreaking.
5. Antony vs. Octavian: The triumverate's totally on shaky ground, especially with Herod giving them the bribe that they don't know how to divy up. In order to bring stability to the triumverate and the republic, Octavian proposes a marriage between Antony and one of the women in Octavian's family. The logical choice is Atia, seeing as how she and Antony are the same age and how they're fucking and how Atia's in love with him. But, alas, Octavian has the last laugh by arranging the marriage between Antony and Octavia. Obviously, no one is happy at the wedding except Octavian, and by happy, I mean he blinks once as opposed to not blinking. Antony is uncomfortable, Atia is heartbroken and pissed, and Octavia and Agrippa are in agony. But, I guess, life's a bitch, and so is Octavian. And just because the marriage was political doesn't mean there can't be sex... all Antony needs is some spit for lube and a willing body to do it doggie style.
And now, the catfight of all catfights:
6. Atia and Servilia: Servilia is racked with grief over Brutus' death, quite obviously, since she was his mother and all. She then pulls a Cindy Sheehan and stands outside Atia's door, yelling "Atia of the Julii, I call for justice!" And this is totally where good RSC Voice and Speech training comes in handy for Lindsay Duncan. She stands out there for days, and then Atia shows up at the door. Servilia, now covered by Brutus' ashes, ushers out one of her epic curses to Atia ("Gods below, I am Servilia of the most ancient and sacred Junii upon whose bones the seven hills of Rome are built. I summon you to listen. Curse this woman! Send her bitterness and despair for all of her life! Let her taste nothing but ashes and iron! Gods of the underworld, all that I have left I give to you in sacrifice if you will make it so!" ) And then, she stabs herself with a sword. Wow. Like... wow! Servilia's dead! Then her slave kills herself. All in the street in front of Atia, Antony, Octavia, and the others. Atia totally starts taking this curse stuff to heart, since after the wedding she believes the curse may be coming true. Point: Servilia.
I am so SAD that there are only three episodes left!
All in all: A
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Brothers and Sisters 1.16: The Other Walker
"I told you that lamp was really gay! And ugly!"
Silly, silly Sarah. You stupid bitch. I love how I think I'm going to start every blog about Brothers and Sisters like that. Anyways, Sarah is being completely stupid this episode. Mainly because she meets Rebecca (which is actually a fairly poignant moment), and then spills the beans on the fact that she's her sister and she hates her on principle. This causes a huge rift between Rebecca and Holly, and Holly takes Sarah's actions as a declaration of war. Sarah's all "Bring it!" Except that I'm not rooting for either of them because a war between them, at least the way it's being handled, is competely stupid.
The rest of the family is also dealing with Rebecca's reappearance... and some of them are dealing with her existence at all. Sarah, Tommy, Kevin, and Saul swear an oath of secrecy about her and decide not to tell the others, but Saul relents when he takes Nora out to lunch and she tells him she's considering making Holly part of the family. "Oh, by the way, Nora, William had ANOTHER KID!!" Nora is rightfully upset, but I am glad that Saul did it and the way he did was very touching. Of course, the Three Musketeers berate Saul for telling Nora, but he's all, "What am I supposed to do? Keep it from her?" And they're like, "Yeah! That's what we promised!" Whatever.
Kitty and Justin find out, and while Kitty freaks out in her very verbose Ally McBeal-kinda way (except without the hallucinations of a dancing baby and Barry White), Justin is the only person who's all, "Hey, has anyone wondered how Rebecca's feeling about all this?" So, he's the only one who goes to meet her and has an awkward yet sweet half-sibling to half-sibling chat.
Oh, and some gossip website is targeting Chad of being a secret homo (which he is) after catching some photos of him and Kevin lamp-shopping (which they were) and this whole silly scenario is really because Chad wants to subconsciously get outted (which he totally does), and Kevin threatens to sue the rag, which totally implicates Chad. They agree to keep their relationship to late-night fucking. Apropos.
I very much like this show, and I'm totally interested in where it'll go now that the long-alluded-to Rebecca is now in the picture. What makes the show work better as opposed to other such family shows is the politics - be it the literal politics (Republican vs. Democrat, the Iraq war, gay marriage) or the personal politics (who am I siding with? who is right?), and now with the prospect of a war within the family, I'm pretty thrilled with the possiblities. Let's hope they follow through on them.
All in all: A-
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Desperate Housewives 3.16: My Husband, The Pig
"To me, he always has that shifty look of a guy who knows where the bodies are buried. He should know. He buried them."
I remember in Season One right after Mrs. Huber was killed that speculation ran rampant online that she was gonna take over for Mary Alice one episode and narrate the episode from the Great Suburbia in the Sky. But that never happened. And has never happened... Mary Alice has never relinquished her narration duties (one episode this season kinda did that with Alma giving the closing narration to Edie, however). But this episode gives Mary Alice a day off, and we are taken along for the ride this time by none other than... drum roll please... Rex Fucking Van de Kamp! How I miss you, Rex, how awesome you are/were. How Marcia Cross is in need of a great sparring partner! I mean, this isn't a diss to Kyle MacLachlan (I love me some Agent Cooper, of course), but when Bree is the more normal of the couple, then things are a bit strange. Rex always grounded her and, let's not lie, Rex is the only man that Bree has ever truly loved. George? Whatever! She killed him. Orson? I don't think so. Pure plot contrivance.
Rex begins his Dead Person Voice Over by stating how much his family has gone to shit since he's died (agreed) and how he's glad he's dead. Ha! Then, Rex tells us that this episode is not going to focus exclusively on the Desperate Housewives of Wisteria Lane, but on the Desperate Husbands, which I think totally rocks! As much as I love me some Susanlynettebreegabrielleedie, I would totally dig a show about Miketomcarlosorsonian. Or... maybe I will just settle for the occassional episode.
Anyways, Carlos, still living with Mike, is totally horned up and cruising some Internet dating site, where he has found a "complete freak with serious daddy issues." His night is ruined, however, when Edie shows up at the door with her long-lost son, Travers (Travers? Edie, what kind of a name is that?), who has been alluded to since the pilot, but never seen. Edie asks if Carlos can babysit that night while she goes to some drunken soiree, and Carlos says that he can't since he's hoping to get laid. That night, as he's trying to score with Crazy Chick Freak with Daddy Issues, he sees Travers alone on the street, and Carlos runs out to save him. Which totally makes sense, judging from how many people have been killed/run over/attacked on this block alone. Internet Chick storms out, and when a drunken Edie comes home to collect Travers, Carlos gives her a vicious tongue lashing. And no, not like that. They have another intense and great scene the next morning, and Edie says that she may not be a good mother, but that she's a realistic one. Carlos feels bad and says he can take care of Travers if need be. Awww... seriously. So well-acted.
Tom, meanwhile, is planning a big surprise anniversary thing for Lynnette, who, despite being all supportive of the pizza parlor, in no way deserves a surprise anniversary thing, because, as we remember, she was basically tortured into supporting Tom. Whatever. Anyways, of course, in good old-fashioned Desperate Housewives fashion, the surprise goes awry and Tom ends up rescuing a nearly-frostbitten Lynnette from the forest and rekindling their romance in a diner. There're too many things to type up about that plot that... I just don't want to.
Mike and Ian have a guy catfight over Susan when Mike realizes that Ian just proposed to Susan before Mike remembered that he was going to. They duke it out (or, as works on this show, snarkily exchange catty comments) over a poker game where all our Desperate Husbands have converged. They end up facing each other with one hand, and if Ian wins, then Mike can never speak of this to Susan again and he'll marry her, and if Ian loses, then... Mike can tell Susan whatever he wants. Ian ends up winning in a reveal a few minutes before the episode ends. Sadly, I was totally invested in Tom and Carlos' side comments rather than the big showdown. They're both like, "What the fuck is this nonsense? I just came to do two things: play some cards and drink beer."
Umm... Oh yeah! Bree and Orson are going on their honeymoon. Bree left a few days early (because Marcia Cross just had babies... oh, you smart and clever writers), and right as Orson is about to leave, Danielle discovers that she's pregnant... by Austin! Dun dun DUN! Orson pretends that it's 1953 and sends Danielle off to a convent in the mountains so that she can have the baby in secret (saying that she's in boarding school), and Andrew returns to his Gay Iago ways and convinces Austin to blow town, rather than stay and reconciliate with Julie. Austin, being the dumb himbo he is, follows this adivce. Buh-bye, Austin!
Oh, and some rich guy wants to do Gabrielle. Again.
It was refreshing to see the episode from the male point of view, but I'm still unsure where the story's going for the remainder of the season. There's inklings of things, but I'm unsure. And I kinda like it. Though some of the things in this episode (basically Gabby's new rich stalker) seemed a bit trod-upon. Good, not golden.
All in all: B+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
I remember in Season One right after Mrs. Huber was killed that speculation ran rampant online that she was gonna take over for Mary Alice one episode and narrate the episode from the Great Suburbia in the Sky. But that never happened. And has never happened... Mary Alice has never relinquished her narration duties (one episode this season kinda did that with Alma giving the closing narration to Edie, however). But this episode gives Mary Alice a day off, and we are taken along for the ride this time by none other than... drum roll please... Rex Fucking Van de Kamp! How I miss you, Rex, how awesome you are/were. How Marcia Cross is in need of a great sparring partner! I mean, this isn't a diss to Kyle MacLachlan (I love me some Agent Cooper, of course), but when Bree is the more normal of the couple, then things are a bit strange. Rex always grounded her and, let's not lie, Rex is the only man that Bree has ever truly loved. George? Whatever! She killed him. Orson? I don't think so. Pure plot contrivance.
Rex begins his Dead Person Voice Over by stating how much his family has gone to shit since he's died (agreed) and how he's glad he's dead. Ha! Then, Rex tells us that this episode is not going to focus exclusively on the Desperate Housewives of Wisteria Lane, but on the Desperate Husbands, which I think totally rocks! As much as I love me some Susanlynettebreegabrielleedie, I would totally dig a show about Miketomcarlosorsonian. Or... maybe I will just settle for the occassional episode.
Anyways, Carlos, still living with Mike, is totally horned up and cruising some Internet dating site, where he has found a "complete freak with serious daddy issues." His night is ruined, however, when Edie shows up at the door with her long-lost son, Travers (Travers? Edie, what kind of a name is that?), who has been alluded to since the pilot, but never seen. Edie asks if Carlos can babysit that night while she goes to some drunken soiree, and Carlos says that he can't since he's hoping to get laid. That night, as he's trying to score with Crazy Chick Freak with Daddy Issues, he sees Travers alone on the street, and Carlos runs out to save him. Which totally makes sense, judging from how many people have been killed/run over/attacked on this block alone. Internet Chick storms out, and when a drunken Edie comes home to collect Travers, Carlos gives her a vicious tongue lashing. And no, not like that. They have another intense and great scene the next morning, and Edie says that she may not be a good mother, but that she's a realistic one. Carlos feels bad and says he can take care of Travers if need be. Awww... seriously. So well-acted.
Tom, meanwhile, is planning a big surprise anniversary thing for Lynnette, who, despite being all supportive of the pizza parlor, in no way deserves a surprise anniversary thing, because, as we remember, she was basically tortured into supporting Tom. Whatever. Anyways, of course, in good old-fashioned Desperate Housewives fashion, the surprise goes awry and Tom ends up rescuing a nearly-frostbitten Lynnette from the forest and rekindling their romance in a diner. There're too many things to type up about that plot that... I just don't want to.
Mike and Ian have a guy catfight over Susan when Mike realizes that Ian just proposed to Susan before Mike remembered that he was going to. They duke it out (or, as works on this show, snarkily exchange catty comments) over a poker game where all our Desperate Husbands have converged. They end up facing each other with one hand, and if Ian wins, then Mike can never speak of this to Susan again and he'll marry her, and if Ian loses, then... Mike can tell Susan whatever he wants. Ian ends up winning in a reveal a few minutes before the episode ends. Sadly, I was totally invested in Tom and Carlos' side comments rather than the big showdown. They're both like, "What the fuck is this nonsense? I just came to do two things: play some cards and drink beer."
Umm... Oh yeah! Bree and Orson are going on their honeymoon. Bree left a few days early (because Marcia Cross just had babies... oh, you smart and clever writers), and right as Orson is about to leave, Danielle discovers that she's pregnant... by Austin! Dun dun DUN! Orson pretends that it's 1953 and sends Danielle off to a convent in the mountains so that she can have the baby in secret (saying that she's in boarding school), and Andrew returns to his Gay Iago ways and convinces Austin to blow town, rather than stay and reconciliate with Julie. Austin, being the dumb himbo he is, follows this adivce. Buh-bye, Austin!
Oh, and some rich guy wants to do Gabrielle. Again.
It was refreshing to see the episode from the male point of view, but I'm still unsure where the story's going for the remainder of the season. There's inklings of things, but I'm unsure. And I kinda like it. Though some of the things in this episode (basically Gabby's new rich stalker) seemed a bit trod-upon. Good, not golden.
All in all: B+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Lost 3.10: Tricia Tanaka Is Dead
"What's the problem, jumbotron?"
"Stop calling me names, Red... neck... Man..."
Now, the thing with the flashbacks on the island is that each characters' flashbacks have their own feeling, their own mood, and Hurley's flashbacks are usually pretty humorous, yet intrinsically connected to the island's goings-on, and there is a musical montage ending. I usually love Hurley's episodes - in fact, the major tear-jerking moment for me of this show's history was in Hurley's second flashback "Everybody Hates Hugo." This one, however, I must say is probably my least favorite of the Hurley episodes because... I don't know. Let's talk it out.
It starts off totally promising - Hurley is at Libby's grave (awwww!) and giving this heartbreaking speech to her when Vincent (!) returns and leads Hurley to an abandoned VW bus, complete with a decomposing Dharma dude inside. Hurley and Charlie make it their mission to get the bus up and running, for purely symbolic reasons: both want to outrun their fate - Hurley's curse with the numbers and Charlie's gonna die fate. They enlist Sawyer (who has just returned with Kate to the camp) and Jin to help them, also with a twelve-pack of Dharma Initiative Light Beer. Nice product placement, ABC. Anyway, Hurley and Charlie get the bus working, then decide to drive it down a hill into a patch of rocks to tempt fate with... and they survive! Cue the musical montage.
In flashback, Hurley's dad returns (played by the awesome Cheech Marin) after he wins the lotto money, all sleazy-like. Hurley is rightfully suspicious, but Cheech says that he's returned also to do Hurley's mom (which... wow. And also, here's a nitpick of mine: in the first few flashbacks of Hurley's, Carmen, played by Lillian Hurst, was Hurley's grandmother, but now she's his mother. Which is very strange.). Cheech says he's gonna cure Hurley of his cure, which is a very Spic-ish thing to say (believe me, I am one), and takes him to a fortune teller, in a hilarious scene that makes it obvious that Cheech paid her to "cure" Hurley of the curse. I must say, I am always impressed by how this show uses fortune tellers and psychics in the flashbacks, but this is the first time that it was for comic relief. And it was... it was something. Cheech then admits that he did come back for the money, but is going to leave him with honor. Or something.
Oh! And the episode title? Hurley has bought the Chicken Shack, and reporter Tricia Tanaka (and who else wasn't thinking "Asian Reporter Tricia Takanawa?" Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?) is doing a story on it. When she dies. When the Chicken Shack is hit. By a FRICKIN' METEORITE!I know! Oh, those wacky numbers and their curse!
I don't know. This episode was very good, and solid, but... sadly, it seems forgettable to me. It's not a bad episode like, say, the past three Sun-and-Jin episodes, but... I feel like it'll fall into the shuffle, which is kinda sad since thusfar all of Hurley's episodes have been ridiculously memorable. But, we all can't win all the time.
All in all: B
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
"Stop calling me names, Red... neck... Man..."
Now, the thing with the flashbacks on the island is that each characters' flashbacks have their own feeling, their own mood, and Hurley's flashbacks are usually pretty humorous, yet intrinsically connected to the island's goings-on, and there is a musical montage ending. I usually love Hurley's episodes - in fact, the major tear-jerking moment for me of this show's history was in Hurley's second flashback "Everybody Hates Hugo." This one, however, I must say is probably my least favorite of the Hurley episodes because... I don't know. Let's talk it out.
It starts off totally promising - Hurley is at Libby's grave (awwww!) and giving this heartbreaking speech to her when Vincent (!) returns and leads Hurley to an abandoned VW bus, complete with a decomposing Dharma dude inside. Hurley and Charlie make it their mission to get the bus up and running, for purely symbolic reasons: both want to outrun their fate - Hurley's curse with the numbers and Charlie's gonna die fate. They enlist Sawyer (who has just returned with Kate to the camp) and Jin to help them, also with a twelve-pack of Dharma Initiative Light Beer. Nice product placement, ABC. Anyway, Hurley and Charlie get the bus working, then decide to drive it down a hill into a patch of rocks to tempt fate with... and they survive! Cue the musical montage.
In flashback, Hurley's dad returns (played by the awesome Cheech Marin) after he wins the lotto money, all sleazy-like. Hurley is rightfully suspicious, but Cheech says that he's returned also to do Hurley's mom (which... wow. And also, here's a nitpick of mine: in the first few flashbacks of Hurley's, Carmen, played by Lillian Hurst, was Hurley's grandmother, but now she's his mother. Which is very strange.). Cheech says he's gonna cure Hurley of his cure, which is a very Spic-ish thing to say (believe me, I am one), and takes him to a fortune teller, in a hilarious scene that makes it obvious that Cheech paid her to "cure" Hurley of the curse. I must say, I am always impressed by how this show uses fortune tellers and psychics in the flashbacks, but this is the first time that it was for comic relief. And it was... it was something. Cheech then admits that he did come back for the money, but is going to leave him with honor. Or something.
Oh! And the episode title? Hurley has bought the Chicken Shack, and reporter Tricia Tanaka (and who else wasn't thinking "Asian Reporter Tricia Takanawa?" Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?) is doing a story on it. When she dies. When the Chicken Shack is hit. By a FRICKIN' METEORITE!
I don't know. This episode was very good, and solid, but... sadly, it seems forgettable to me. It's not a bad episode like, say, the past three Sun-and-Jin episodes, but... I feel like it'll fall into the shuffle, which is kinda sad since thusfar all of Hurley's episodes have been ridiculously memorable. But, we all can't win all the time.
All in all: B
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Veronica Mars 3.15: Papa's Cabin
"Well, first, I'd break into someone's office, act really weaselly, and then ask their advice."
The final episode of the Who Killed Dean O'Dell arc has come to an end, and the final mystery arc of the season. And maybe of the entire series. Which really sucks, but hopefully Dawn Ostroff (Creative VP of Programming at The CW, and ex-head of UPN) won't inflict this on the show. The whole point is that it's a mystery show. Whatever. ANYWAYS, the final episode of the arc was pretty insane. I remember reading an interview with Rob Thomas saying that this final episode of the arc would be different from all other arc finales in that as opposed to Veronica solving the mystery halfway through the episode, then being menaced by the killer/culprit at the end, then saved by someone else (being chased through a junkyard by Aaron Echolls, then saved by Keith; threated by a gun and tasered on the Neptune Grand roof by Beaver, then saved by Logan; beaten up by Mercer in the dorm hallway, then saved by Parker), she was going to deduce through logic the killer and have a Sherlock Holmes finale that way. And boy, was it awesome.
In other storyland, Veronica gives her blessing for Logan and Parker to start dating, even though it kinda pains both of them; there is going to be a special election to determine the sheriff of Balboa County (or is it Neptune County now? Hmmm... are the continuity fairies overlooking this, or is there some reasonable real estate reason that this has changed that I'm unaware of?) since Keith is taking over only temporarily.
The explanation of the crime is completely convoluted and complicated, but I wouldn't have it any other way: Mindy explains that Dean O'Dell barged into the hotel room, confronts her and Landry, then tells Landry that he's gonna fire him and take away his tenure. He storms off and she's the one who visits his office during the time that Nish, Claire, and Fern were egging the office. She calms him down, giving him the Xanax, then returns to an empty hotel room. Landry is arrested, but he counters that the Dean also threatened Mindy with the pre-nup and she'd get ZIP. Mindy skips town after getting the life insurance check (which totally makes Mindy O'Dell a femme fatale in terms of the plot), and she buys a boat. Veronica and Tim team up to free Landry, and get him freed due to some fake alibi with a stripper bumming a smoke off him. By the time Keith figures that it's a fake alibi, Landry's skipped town looking for Mindy, who he believes framed him. Veronica listens to Landry's phone calls, hears a reference to "Papa's Cabin," and also hears Landry totally trash Tim to a potential employer. Awkward.
Keith is the one who solves what Papa's Cabin refers to, which is a Cabo getaway, and the scene in which he does it is absolutely hilarious since you have Veronica and Tim giving ridiculous reasoning as to where Landry could be, when Keith is all "Cabo. Duh!" Great. Anyways, in Cabo, we see that Landry has "accidentally" killed Mindy, which lands him in jail, as well as framing Batando to save Mindy, who he feels was the killer. Landry's arrested, Tim's made professor of the course, and he asks Veronica to be his TA. AH, but WAIT. All is not done: the missing piece of clue is the phone bug, which Veronica discovers in her phone, and she figures that Tim is the real killer, framing Landry for trashing him for this job. And they have a stare-down in the classroom which is amazing.
And I spot UCLA grad on Veronica Mars #3 in this episode: Robert Bastron, who plays one of Veronica's classmates. The others being Tanya Chisholm, playing Nancy Cooper (Rape Victim #...3 or something), and the eternally awesome James Jordan, who played Lucky the school-shooting janitor in Season Two and Tim now. Which means that Dean O'Dell's killer once gave me a drunken wedgie. Kinda cool.
This episode was pretty great, but it was a bit different than the previous ones, not because of the lack of thriller-ness, which a lot of people didn't care for, but because catching O'Dell's killer wasn't of super-major intensity to Veronica (whereas finding Lilly's killer and the bus bomber was, and the rapist became important once he tried to rape Veronica), so there was a lack of... conenction, despite the fact that she liked O'Dell so much. Alas. But, still awesome stuff. But, now, six weeks off, thanks to Who Will be the nextWhore Pussycat Doll or whatever it is.
All in all: A-
Until then, same bat time, same bat channel.
The final episode of the Who Killed Dean O'Dell arc has come to an end, and the final mystery arc of the season. And maybe of the entire series. Which really sucks, but hopefully Dawn Ostroff (Creative VP of Programming at The CW, and ex-head of UPN) won't inflict this on the show. The whole point is that it's a mystery show. Whatever. ANYWAYS, the final episode of the arc was pretty insane. I remember reading an interview with Rob Thomas saying that this final episode of the arc would be different from all other arc finales in that as opposed to Veronica solving the mystery halfway through the episode, then being menaced by the killer/culprit at the end, then saved by someone else (being chased through a junkyard by Aaron Echolls, then saved by Keith; threated by a gun and tasered on the Neptune Grand roof by Beaver, then saved by Logan; beaten up by Mercer in the dorm hallway, then saved by Parker), she was going to deduce through logic the killer and have a Sherlock Holmes finale that way. And boy, was it awesome.
In other storyland, Veronica gives her blessing for Logan and Parker to start dating, even though it kinda pains both of them; there is going to be a special election to determine the sheriff of Balboa County (or is it Neptune County now? Hmmm... are the continuity fairies overlooking this, or is there some reasonable real estate reason that this has changed that I'm unaware of?) since Keith is taking over only temporarily.
The explanation of the crime is completely convoluted and complicated, but I wouldn't have it any other way: Mindy explains that Dean O'Dell barged into the hotel room, confronts her and Landry, then tells Landry that he's gonna fire him and take away his tenure. He storms off and she's the one who visits his office during the time that Nish, Claire, and Fern were egging the office. She calms him down, giving him the Xanax, then returns to an empty hotel room. Landry is arrested, but he counters that the Dean also threatened Mindy with the pre-nup and she'd get ZIP. Mindy skips town after getting the life insurance check (which totally makes Mindy O'Dell a femme fatale in terms of the plot), and she buys a boat. Veronica and Tim team up to free Landry, and get him freed due to some fake alibi with a stripper bumming a smoke off him. By the time Keith figures that it's a fake alibi, Landry's skipped town looking for Mindy, who he believes framed him. Veronica listens to Landry's phone calls, hears a reference to "Papa's Cabin," and also hears Landry totally trash Tim to a potential employer. Awkward.
Keith is the one who solves what Papa's Cabin refers to, which is a Cabo getaway, and the scene in which he does it is absolutely hilarious since you have Veronica and Tim giving ridiculous reasoning as to where Landry could be, when Keith is all "Cabo. Duh!" Great. Anyways, in Cabo, we see that Landry has "accidentally" killed Mindy, which lands him in jail, as well as framing Batando to save Mindy, who he feels was the killer. Landry's arrested, Tim's made professor of the course, and he asks Veronica to be his TA. AH, but WAIT. All is not done: the missing piece of clue is the phone bug, which Veronica discovers in her phone, and she figures that Tim is the real killer, framing Landry for trashing him for this job. And they have a stare-down in the classroom which is amazing.
And I spot UCLA grad on Veronica Mars #3 in this episode: Robert Bastron, who plays one of Veronica's classmates. The others being Tanya Chisholm, playing Nancy Cooper (Rape Victim #...3 or something), and the eternally awesome James Jordan, who played Lucky the school-shooting janitor in Season Two and Tim now. Which means that Dean O'Dell's killer once gave me a drunken wedgie. Kinda cool.
This episode was pretty great, but it was a bit different than the previous ones, not because of the lack of thriller-ness, which a lot of people didn't care for, but because catching O'Dell's killer wasn't of super-major intensity to Veronica (whereas finding Lilly's killer and the bus bomber was, and the rapist became important once he tried to rape Veronica), so there was a lack of... conenction, despite the fact that she liked O'Dell so much. Alas. But, still awesome stuff. But, now, six weeks off, thanks to Who Will be the next
All in all: A-
Until then, same bat time, same bat channel.
24 6.11: Day 6 - 4:00PM - 5:00PM
"Worried about me is one thing, but charging into the men's bathroom is borderline obsessive."
Ding dong, the Wayne is dead. Which old Wayne? President Wayne!
Well, I guess technically, Wayne Palmer isn't dead... yet. But he's been blowed up by a bomb, or at least the cliffhanger lets us think so. I'm hoping he is dead, however, for several reasons:
1. The writers will be a centimeter closer to redeeming themselves for not killing off President... Keeler (was that his name? Yes, it was) season 4 when they blew up Air Force One. Though it won't redeem for many, many other things.
2. President Wayne Palmer DOES NOT EQUAL President David Palmer. God rest his soul.
3. The story possibilities are endless if Wayne is killed - Evil Vice President Noah Daniels takes over the country, more Muslim correctional facility wackiness, Lennox accused (and possibly teaming up with a bereaved Sandra Palmer to find the killers)... but we'll see.
Before all of that good fun, we had other things to worry about. First of all, Jack Bauers glowers some more as he is whisked away to LumberLogan's super secret cabin getaway, where the government has placed him under house arrest in return for not arresting him for being involved with the Day 5 conspiracy. LumberLogan convinces President Palmer (before said assassination attempt) to let out for the evening, so he and Jack can go to the Russian consul to find out... something (I think find out where Gredenko is planning to set off the bombs... or something), as a result of blackmail. Since the Russians were also involved with the conspiracy... which is interesting considering that President Subarov and his wife were almost killed. This plotline for the hour mostly consists of Jack and LumberLogan getting dressed for the occassion. That's right, forty-five minutes worth. Those are two bitches when it comes to getting dressed, and to think that it took Jack three minutes to shave off his beard at the beginning of Day 2. You're getting up there, old man!
Morris, my favorite character still, is doing his job, and Chloe and Nadia (shut the hell UP, Nadia!) and all the rest of CTU is worried that he's not doing his shit. So, Chloe calls his sponsor, Bart Simpson, and Bart tells her that she hasn't spoken to Morris in a few years. Which causes Chloe to storm into the bathroom, into the stall where Morris is dropping the kids off at the pool, and totally makes an ass of herself. Such is the CTU drama.
In the "Secret Lovers" storyline, Lennox is tied up, knocked around, and Reed's one co-conspirator plants a bomb in the podium where Wayne and Dr. Bashir are going to give their televised speech. Reed tries to comfort Lennox and tries to clean his wounds lovingly while trying to save his life, and then goes to plant the bomb. This assassination attempt, by the way, is really sloppy. The bomb will kill you only if you're within ten feet of it. That's lame. But, the bomb goes off, and either Dr. Bashir or Wayne OR BOTH are dead.
But I guess we'll find out til next time.
All in all: B-
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Ding dong, the Wayne is dead. Which old Wayne? President Wayne!
Well, I guess technically, Wayne Palmer isn't dead... yet. But he's been blowed up by a bomb, or at least the cliffhanger lets us think so. I'm hoping he is dead, however, for several reasons:
1. The writers will be a centimeter closer to redeeming themselves for not killing off President... Keeler (was that his name? Yes, it was) season 4 when they blew up Air Force One. Though it won't redeem for many, many other things.
2. President Wayne Palmer DOES NOT EQUAL President David Palmer. God rest his soul.
3. The story possibilities are endless if Wayne is killed - Evil Vice President Noah Daniels takes over the country, more Muslim correctional facility wackiness, Lennox accused (and possibly teaming up with a bereaved Sandra Palmer to find the killers)... but we'll see.
Before all of that good fun, we had other things to worry about. First of all, Jack Bauers glowers some more as he is whisked away to LumberLogan's super secret cabin getaway, where the government has placed him under house arrest in return for not arresting him for being involved with the Day 5 conspiracy. LumberLogan convinces President Palmer (before said assassination attempt) to let out for the evening, so he and Jack can go to the Russian consul to find out... something (I think find out where Gredenko is planning to set off the bombs... or something), as a result of blackmail. Since the Russians were also involved with the conspiracy... which is interesting considering that President Subarov and his wife were almost killed. This plotline for the hour mostly consists of Jack and LumberLogan getting dressed for the occassion. That's right, forty-five minutes worth. Those are two bitches when it comes to getting dressed, and to think that it took Jack three minutes to shave off his beard at the beginning of Day 2. You're getting up there, old man!
Morris, my favorite character still, is doing his job, and Chloe and Nadia (shut the hell UP, Nadia!) and all the rest of CTU is worried that he's not doing his shit. So, Chloe calls his sponsor, Bart Simpson, and Bart tells her that she hasn't spoken to Morris in a few years. Which causes Chloe to storm into the bathroom, into the stall where Morris is dropping the kids off at the pool, and totally makes an ass of herself. Such is the CTU drama.
In the "Secret Lovers" storyline, Lennox is tied up, knocked around, and Reed's one co-conspirator plants a bomb in the podium where Wayne and Dr. Bashir are going to give their televised speech. Reed tries to comfort Lennox and tries to clean his wounds lovingly while trying to save his life, and then goes to plant the bomb. This assassination attempt, by the way, is really sloppy. The bomb will kill you only if you're within ten feet of it. That's lame. But, the bomb goes off, and either Dr. Bashir or Wayne OR BOTH are dead.
But I guess we'll find out til next time.
All in all: B-
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Grey's Anatomy 3.17: Some Kind of Miracle
"You are anything but ordinary."
Oh, yes you are, Grey's Anatomy episode. Yes, you are.
As the finale to the huge three-parter of this season, this episode is a wonderfully surreal and symbolic ending to a few weeks of total hell for all involved at Seattle Grace, penned by Shonda and Marti Noxon (aka TV's Marti Noxon, as she is apparently known in the Grey's offices). Apparently a lot of people hated this episode, but then again, I'm judging based on the feedback on TWoP, and that's the worst place to judge reactions since it's an absolute rule to hate all TV on there. Judging from the Grey's writers blog page, a lot of people loved this episode, so who knows.
I am one of the latter. I think this is one of the best, if not the best, episode the show has done thusfar. It wasn't without its flaws, of course, but on a completely emotional level, this episode is fairly unsurpassed. The Super Bowl extravaganza, "It's the End of the World" and "(As We Know It)," was great in introducing a new level of intensity that the show hadn't had previously shown, but I think it was then topped by the three-part finale ("17 Seconds," "Deterioration of the Flight or Fight Response," and "Losing My Religion," respectively... I just love this show's episode title gimmicks... I want to write a show where I have episode title gimmicks), which in turn has been topped by this three parter.
Mostly because of the stuff between Meredith and Ellis. Their story, which started in the pilot, has been a really subtle thing that has explained a good chunk of Meredith's psychology. Meredith is "dark and twisty" and "sleeps with inappropriate men," according to the other characters on the show, all of which is completely true. She does this stuff because Ellis is the perfect surgeon and has always considered her daughter to be ordinary, plus the really cool stuff with Meredith following Ellis' footsteps, what with both getting involved with another married doctor while being a surgical intern (the main difference, however, is that Ellis' affair with Richard was doomed, while Derek ended up leaving Addison for Meredith). Anyways, with Meredith hanging out with Doc the dog, Denny, Dylan who turned into pink mist, Bonnie the train girl, and Liz, Ellis' scrub nurse, in the afterlife, she has time to contemplate things about life and determines that she's been borderline-suicidal in the last few days (which makes sense, seeing as how she tried to drown herself in the tub a few episodes ago). When she senses that she might die, she is urged by Ellis (who dies from cardiac arrest brought on by a tirade against her by Derek) to go back to life, and they share a truly poignant good-bye, which is really tragic, but strangely fitting.
Now, of course, it sounds sappy on paper, and it totally is. But nobody does sappy like Grey's, so it works. And it works within the Grey's universe on a completely symbolic level. Realistically, Meredith would not be able to sit up and talk a few hours after being clinically dead, and "coming back from the light" stories are told to death, but I argue that without the soapy relationship stuff that makes up most of the show, these really intense episodes wouldn't work because we need those relationships and connections to get an emotional core to the stories, and that's what this show does exceptionally well.
Briefly elsewhere, Izzie confronts Callie in a truly bitchy way about how the George-Callie union is a sham, and George symbolically smacks Izzie by sticking with Callie at the end of the crisis. Izzie is a dumb bitch, really, even though she is visited by Denny's ghost in a sweet closing shot, though it wasn't nearly as affecting since Izzie has been a BIG BITCH all episode long. Alex helps his Jane Doe through her face-melting crisis (the prosthetics for the character are amazing), and Addison selfelssly counsels Derek through the Meredith stuff. Addison rocks... but enough for her own spin-off? I don't know about that.
All in all: A+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Oh, yes you are, Grey's Anatomy episode. Yes, you are.
As the finale to the huge three-parter of this season, this episode is a wonderfully surreal and symbolic ending to a few weeks of total hell for all involved at Seattle Grace, penned by Shonda and Marti Noxon (aka TV's Marti Noxon, as she is apparently known in the Grey's offices). Apparently a lot of people hated this episode, but then again, I'm judging based on the feedback on TWoP, and that's the worst place to judge reactions since it's an absolute rule to hate all TV on there. Judging from the Grey's writers blog page, a lot of people loved this episode, so who knows.
I am one of the latter. I think this is one of the best, if not the best, episode the show has done thusfar. It wasn't without its flaws, of course, but on a completely emotional level, this episode is fairly unsurpassed. The Super Bowl extravaganza, "It's the End of the World" and "(As We Know It)," was great in introducing a new level of intensity that the show hadn't had previously shown, but I think it was then topped by the three-part finale ("17 Seconds," "Deterioration of the Flight or Fight Response," and "Losing My Religion," respectively... I just love this show's episode title gimmicks... I want to write a show where I have episode title gimmicks), which in turn has been topped by this three parter.
Mostly because of the stuff between Meredith and Ellis. Their story, which started in the pilot, has been a really subtle thing that has explained a good chunk of Meredith's psychology. Meredith is "dark and twisty" and "sleeps with inappropriate men," according to the other characters on the show, all of which is completely true. She does this stuff because Ellis is the perfect surgeon and has always considered her daughter to be ordinary, plus the really cool stuff with Meredith following Ellis' footsteps, what with both getting involved with another married doctor while being a surgical intern (the main difference, however, is that Ellis' affair with Richard was doomed, while Derek ended up leaving Addison for Meredith). Anyways, with Meredith hanging out with Doc the dog, Denny, Dylan who turned into pink mist, Bonnie the train girl, and Liz, Ellis' scrub nurse, in the afterlife, she has time to contemplate things about life and determines that she's been borderline-suicidal in the last few days (which makes sense, seeing as how she tried to drown herself in the tub a few episodes ago). When she senses that she might die, she is urged by Ellis (who dies from cardiac arrest brought on by a tirade against her by Derek) to go back to life, and they share a truly poignant good-bye, which is really tragic, but strangely fitting.
Now, of course, it sounds sappy on paper, and it totally is. But nobody does sappy like Grey's, so it works. And it works within the Grey's universe on a completely symbolic level. Realistically, Meredith would not be able to sit up and talk a few hours after being clinically dead, and "coming back from the light" stories are told to death, but I argue that without the soapy relationship stuff that makes up most of the show, these really intense episodes wouldn't work because we need those relationships and connections to get an emotional core to the stories, and that's what this show does exceptionally well.
Briefly elsewhere, Izzie confronts Callie in a truly bitchy way about how the George-Callie union is a sham, and George symbolically smacks Izzie by sticking with Callie at the end of the crisis. Izzie is a dumb bitch, really, even though she is visited by Denny's ghost in a sweet closing shot, though it wasn't nearly as affecting since Izzie has been a BIG BITCH all episode long. Alex helps his Jane Doe through her face-melting crisis (the prosthetics for the character are amazing), and Addison selfelssly counsels Derek through the Meredith stuff. Addison rocks... but enough for her own spin-off? I don't know about that.
All in all: A+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Office 3.17: Cocktails
"Why's it so hard? That's what she said... Oh my God. Did I just say that?"
Yes, you did, Jan. Yes, you did.
Tonight's episode, in which Michael and Jan "come out" as a couple while attending a management cocktail party, was amazing. Thus far, Season Three has been ridiculously solid, but hasn't touched the highs of Season Two (which, to be fair, are terribly high), but the last two episodes have done it. The last episode, directed by Joss Whedon, mined the emotional territory that Season Two at its most depressing was unsurpassed at, and this one, directed by J.J. Abrams, was hilarious, and also excuciatingly suspenseful. In that "Oh my GOD, Michael, you're gonna ruin YOUR LIFE!"
There were two main stories this episode, both involving alcohol-centered get-togethers: the management cocktail party, frequented by Michael and Jan, Dwight, and Jim and Karen; and an after-work happy hour thing, with everyone else. The cocktail party was a great plot. Jan decides to turn in HR paperwork stating that she and Michael are in a relationship, and takes him as her date to the management cocktail party, and of course, wackiness ensues. Jan definitely had the best lines of the episode, as she finds herself during an interview beginning to quote Michael's "That's what she said" joke, and then discusses the pros and cons of the relationship: "The upside is marriage, kids, that whole thing... the downside? I continue dating Michael Scott and implode on myself like a dying star." Jan definitely has some emotional problems, and it's tragic that her relationship with Michael is a result of that, and she's totally developed into this tragic figure on the show. She then tries to seduce Michael in the bathroom in an attempt to either shut him up or ease her tensions, and it fails. Their final scene is a funny one where they reconcile in the car on their way home, and it shows that Jan does genuinely care about Michael, as opposed to seeing him as a booty call of sorts. Melora Hardin, in general, rocks.
The other important development is that Pam and Roy break up again for good, and THANK GOD. I wasn't really caring for Good Roy, and while it was an interesting character development, I wasn't digging a love square with four good people... the good love traingle with Jim, Pam, and Karen is enough for me. Pam confesses that she and Jim kissed at Casino Night, and that causes Roy to go on a drunken rage and destroy the bar they're at. The episode ends with Roy vowing vengeance on Jim... which is a kinda scary thought.
I don't know where anything on this show is going, which is the best thing about it. Unpredictability.
All in all: A+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Yes, you did, Jan. Yes, you did.
Tonight's episode, in which Michael and Jan "come out" as a couple while attending a management cocktail party, was amazing. Thus far, Season Three has been ridiculously solid, but hasn't touched the highs of Season Two (which, to be fair, are terribly high), but the last two episodes have done it. The last episode, directed by Joss Whedon, mined the emotional territory that Season Two at its most depressing was unsurpassed at, and this one, directed by J.J. Abrams, was hilarious, and also excuciatingly suspenseful. In that "Oh my GOD, Michael, you're gonna ruin YOUR LIFE!"
There were two main stories this episode, both involving alcohol-centered get-togethers: the management cocktail party, frequented by Michael and Jan, Dwight, and Jim and Karen; and an after-work happy hour thing, with everyone else. The cocktail party was a great plot. Jan decides to turn in HR paperwork stating that she and Michael are in a relationship, and takes him as her date to the management cocktail party, and of course, wackiness ensues. Jan definitely had the best lines of the episode, as she finds herself during an interview beginning to quote Michael's "That's what she said" joke, and then discusses the pros and cons of the relationship: "The upside is marriage, kids, that whole thing... the downside? I continue dating Michael Scott and implode on myself like a dying star." Jan definitely has some emotional problems, and it's tragic that her relationship with Michael is a result of that, and she's totally developed into this tragic figure on the show. She then tries to seduce Michael in the bathroom in an attempt to either shut him up or ease her tensions, and it fails. Their final scene is a funny one where they reconcile in the car on their way home, and it shows that Jan does genuinely care about Michael, as opposed to seeing him as a booty call of sorts. Melora Hardin, in general, rocks.
The other important development is that Pam and Roy break up again for good, and THANK GOD. I wasn't really caring for Good Roy, and while it was an interesting character development, I wasn't digging a love square with four good people... the good love traingle with Jim, Pam, and Karen is enough for me. Pam confesses that she and Jim kissed at Casino Night, and that causes Roy to go on a drunken rage and destroy the bar they're at. The episode ends with Roy vowing vengeance on Jim... which is a kinda scary thought.
I don't know where anything on this show is going, which is the best thing about it. Unpredictability.
All in all: A+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Lost 3.09: Stranger in a Strange Land
"You need to stop crying and cowboy up!"
First of all, someone needs to desperately dick-slap the ABC promo monkeys, because the promo for this episode (which, for the record, I thought was pretty good) told us MAJOR LIES, saying that the episode would answer three mysteries that we had all been wondering about. The three said mysteries were implied to be the following:
1. What do Jack's tattoos say? (First of all, not really a major mystery that I've been wrapping my brain around, just a minor curiosity. And, actually, that is answered in the episode. The tattoo on his arm says, according to the Others' "Sheriff" Isabel: "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us.")
2. Why did the Others take the children? (The commercial made it seem like Kate was asking a major Other this question, but alas, she is only asking Carl, who says that "we give the kids better lives." Which is what they've been saying for, like, years!)
3. What is the Others' major plan? (Nope, not until the season finale.)
The episode is a Jack-centric episode, which I was figuring might be more "My dad is a mean drunk, and I hate him but I love him wah wah wah!" And while the Jack/Christian drama was good during Season One, and partly some of Season Two (when Ana Lucia was involved), I think we have that story in complete complete detail. Plus, I was promised that Libby would be the new Dr. Christian Shepherd (I was totally gonna write Dr. Christian Troy, so much brain has Nip/Tuck taken over) in terms of appearing in everybody's flashbacks, but I still haven't gotten her. Anyways, this flashback begins a new chapter in the Jack-flashback story, so...
Jack's in Thailand and begins screwing Bai Ling, who is a sort of psychic tattoo artist. She reads him like a book when he psychologically-rapes her into tattooing him, but it causes the Thais to kick him out of the country because he isn't one of them, which is funny because that's what his tattoo says! Which is a really fucked up tattoo for Bai Ling to give him. Now, I wonder, while they were fucking, did she ever start singing, a la But Can They Sing? Imagine her belting "I Touch Myself" while they're in that mosquito-netting bed... freaky. Maybe she's the smoke monster on the island? That would make a lot of sense... well, at least the smoke monster noise sounds like Bai Ling's singing. Oh, Bai Ling, "you-a a littoo-a strange."
But Bai Ling's not the only hot-woman-who-shouldn't-be-hot in this episode. Jack meets the Sheriff of The Others (whatever that means): Isabel, who may or may not be another attempt by the Lost writers to make fun Grey's Anatomy references. Well, honestly, I think this is another coincidence, just like having a Dr. Shepherd. But naming Juliet "Dr. Burke"... completely on purpose, and don't try to tell me otherwise, bitch. Only if they start calling Isabel "Izzy"...
Anyways, Isabel, played by Diana Scarwid, aka the adult Christina Crawford from Mommie Dearest, is overseeing Juliet's trial (or hearing, or whatever other judicial system thing that The Others perform) for killing Pickett. Isabel has some hot and heavy dialogue exchanges with Jack, not in the double entendre, sexual innuendo kinda way, but in a very "I'm in charge and you're gonna take it, bitch" kinda way, which she must have inherited from Faye Dunaway. So, does this mean she's gonna beat Jack with a wire hanger at some point? (I totally typed "come point" by accident, which... Freudian slip, anyone?) I think it more likely that she'll make Jack chop down some palm trees, however. And if you haven't seen Mommie Dearest, then this whole paragraph isn't nearly as funny as it is for me.
Jack convinces Ben to convince Christina Crawford to not kill Juliet, but instead Ben decides to mark her, which totally is a bad thing for The Others. So Juliet Prynne returns to Jack to thank him for saving her life, and gives him a grilled cheese sandwich, her way of saying "Thank you and I love you."
In other story (is)land, Kate tries to get Sawyer to turn around the canoe to go back and save Jack, but Sawyer's like "Fuck him! He wanted us to leave him!" Which, of course, is because he's pissed off that she's worried about Jack when he's the love of her life. Carl is sad about Alex, who he used to stare at the stars with in their back yard, which is a lovely sentiment, actually. Sawyer allows him to escape to go find Alex in Othersville, which kinda pisses Kate off, but Sawyer says that it's because Carl is a walking target. But really, it's because Sawyer's a big teddy bear.
The episode ends with Jack and Juliet looking at the water. Juliet glances at Jack, and Jack smiles and is all, "Yeah, I know you want this."
All in all: B+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
First of all, someone needs to desperately dick-slap the ABC promo monkeys, because the promo for this episode (which, for the record, I thought was pretty good) told us MAJOR LIES, saying that the episode would answer three mysteries that we had all been wondering about. The three said mysteries were implied to be the following:
1. What do Jack's tattoos say? (First of all, not really a major mystery that I've been wrapping my brain around, just a minor curiosity. And, actually, that is answered in the episode. The tattoo on his arm says, according to the Others' "Sheriff" Isabel: "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us.")
2. Why did the Others take the children? (The commercial made it seem like Kate was asking a major Other this question, but alas, she is only asking Carl, who says that "we give the kids better lives." Which is what they've been saying for, like, years!)
3. What is the Others' major plan? (Nope, not until the season finale.)
The episode is a Jack-centric episode, which I was figuring might be more "My dad is a mean drunk, and I hate him but I love him wah wah wah!" And while the Jack/Christian drama was good during Season One, and partly some of Season Two (when Ana Lucia was involved), I think we have that story in complete complete detail. Plus, I was promised that Libby would be the new Dr. Christian Shepherd (I was totally gonna write Dr. Christian Troy, so much brain has Nip/Tuck taken over) in terms of appearing in everybody's flashbacks, but I still haven't gotten her. Anyways, this flashback begins a new chapter in the Jack-flashback story, so...
Jack's in Thailand and begins screwing Bai Ling, who is a sort of psychic tattoo artist. She reads him like a book when he psychologically-rapes her into tattooing him, but it causes the Thais to kick him out of the country because he isn't one of them, which is funny because that's what his tattoo says! Which is a really fucked up tattoo for Bai Ling to give him. Now, I wonder, while they were fucking, did she ever start singing, a la But Can They Sing? Imagine her belting "I Touch Myself" while they're in that mosquito-netting bed... freaky. Maybe she's the smoke monster on the island? That would make a lot of sense... well, at least the smoke monster noise sounds like Bai Ling's singing. Oh, Bai Ling, "you-a a littoo-a strange."
But Bai Ling's not the only hot-woman-who-shouldn't-be-hot in this episode. Jack meets the Sheriff of The Others (whatever that means): Isabel, who may or may not be another attempt by the Lost writers to make fun Grey's Anatomy references. Well, honestly, I think this is another coincidence, just like having a Dr. Shepherd. But naming Juliet "Dr. Burke"... completely on purpose, and don't try to tell me otherwise, bitch. Only if they start calling Isabel "Izzy"...
Anyways, Isabel, played by Diana Scarwid, aka the adult Christina Crawford from Mommie Dearest, is overseeing Juliet's trial (or hearing, or whatever other judicial system thing that The Others perform) for killing Pickett. Isabel has some hot and heavy dialogue exchanges with Jack, not in the double entendre, sexual innuendo kinda way, but in a very "I'm in charge and you're gonna take it, bitch" kinda way, which she must have inherited from Faye Dunaway. So, does this mean she's gonna beat Jack with a wire hanger at some point? (I totally typed "come point" by accident, which... Freudian slip, anyone?) I think it more likely that she'll make Jack chop down some palm trees, however. And if you haven't seen Mommie Dearest, then this whole paragraph isn't nearly as funny as it is for me.
Jack convinces Ben to convince Christina Crawford to not kill Juliet, but instead Ben decides to mark her, which totally is a bad thing for The Others. So Juliet Prynne returns to Jack to thank him for saving her life, and gives him a grilled cheese sandwich, her way of saying "Thank you and I love you."
In other story (is)land, Kate tries to get Sawyer to turn around the canoe to go back and save Jack, but Sawyer's like "Fuck him! He wanted us to leave him!" Which, of course, is because he's pissed off that she's worried about Jack when he's the love of her life. Carl is sad about Alex, who he used to stare at the stars with in their back yard, which is a lovely sentiment, actually. Sawyer allows him to escape to go find Alex in Othersville, which kinda pisses Kate off, but Sawyer says that it's because Carl is a walking target. But really, it's because Sawyer's a big teddy bear.
The episode ends with Jack and Juliet looking at the water. Juliet glances at Jack, and Jack smiles and is all, "Yeah, I know you want this."
All in all: B+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Veronica Mars 3.14: Mars, Bars
"By all means, tell me the forensics results in front of Neptune's favorite amateur crime-fighting duo!"
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!??
Oh, Rob and Co., what did you do?! This episode was full of WTF moments in both the murder-mystery and the personal. Of the mystery WTFs: Josh takes Mason hostage in his trunk! Mindy O'Dell or Professor Landry could have been the killers since their alibis don't match up! Weevil discovers bloody evidence! Veronica is accused of bugging Landry's phone! When she didn't! Of the personal WTFs: Mac loses her virginity! To Bronson the Vegan Goody-Goody! Logan and Parker have a spark!
And, the most WTF-iest of the WTF moments: they killed Sheriff Lamb! Those bastards!
Veronica Mars has a history of killing characters. In essence, this is a murder mystery show - three of the four mysteries have revolved around a death or deaths (the Heart serial rapist is the only mystery not to claim any victims). But, they've never killed off a regular in mid-season! The only regular to bite it thusfar has been Beaver, and that was at the end of last season when he was revealed as the bus crash mastermind. Plenty of recurrings have died throughout the years (Lilly Kane, obviously; Aaron Echolls, Kendall Casablancas, Meg Manning, etc.), but... wow. And the CW didn't do the "One of the characters will DIE!" thing, of which I'm very impressed. I didn't even believe that Lamb was going to die, even when he was lying on the floor, blood gushing out of his skull after being bashed by Steve Botando. I still can't believe it, even after Keith confirms it and is promoted to Sheriff.
Anyways, onto the story: The murder-mystery-within-the-murder-mystery was wrapped up, and it is discovered that Coach Berry was dying and actually committed suicide. While that was a fine twist (plus all the "double indemnity" stuff totally harkened back to '40s noir), it sucked that the last encounter with Josh was an angry one. Pretty tragic for both of them. But I loved having Mason bound and gagged in the trunk, probably because I really thought he was totally arrogant and whatever. Too bad he didn't do it. Plus, Keith was about to be totally shot by Mrs. Berry, except for the fact that she wasn't. Sooo many red herrings.
Speaking of: I'm usually really good with keeping the details straight of the Veronica Mars mysteries of years past, but this time, I'm totally lost. In the sense of the new development. I know now that Mindy O'Dell and Professor Landry's alibis are in the shitter since now the timeline has been pushed back an hour because the Clippers game Landry claims to have watched actually aired an hour later than thought. Bam! Either of them could have done it. But I'm totally lost as to how Veronica gets to that conclusion.
No! No! Can't... claim... I.... don't.... understand... Must... LIE!!!
I totally got it. I understand all.
Why does that sound like something Amanda from Ugly Betty would say? Think about it.
Since Mindy and Landry are the prime suspects, they obviously aren't the killers. Steve Botando, Mindy's ex-husband who got his BONE MARROW STOLEN by Mindy and the Dean, was somehow involved, but was shot by Sacks after he bashed in Lamb's skull (sob!). Then, that leaves Tim Foyle as a suspect, trying to frame Landry. Or is it shady businessman Mel Stoltz, who was also involved with Coach Berry? My thought (and what I hope is true) is that it's a conspiracy between Nish, Fern, and Claire, as revenge for reinstating the Greek system and invalidating the chaos from the serial rapist.
I do love how this mystery, while completely separate from the rapist plot, is totally affected and intertwined with it. So, it still feels like a season-long mystery, though they are technically separate. And I love the continuity fairies, who I guess have deemed it that in the Neptune universe, whenever a character is dying or dead, the smell of food is always present (Lamb's last words are "I smell bread"; when Veronica thinks Keith is dead, she has a dream where he's in the kitchen and says "Do you smell bacon?").
In personal land, Veronica and Logan are broken up and not emo anymore, Mac and Bronson are dating (and fucking, as we see), Logan begins to have twitches for Parker, and Veronica is appropriately weirded out. When are she and Piz gonna finally get together? Stupid teen angsty drama!
The mystery is wrapped up next week, and I can't fucking wait.
RIP Sheriff Don Lamb. We hardly knew ye.
All in all: A
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!??
Oh, Rob and Co., what did you do?! This episode was full of WTF moments in both the murder-mystery and the personal. Of the mystery WTFs: Josh takes Mason hostage in his trunk! Mindy O'Dell or Professor Landry could have been the killers since their alibis don't match up! Weevil discovers bloody evidence! Veronica is accused of bugging Landry's phone! When she didn't! Of the personal WTFs: Mac loses her virginity! To Bronson the Vegan Goody-Goody! Logan and Parker have a spark!
And, the most WTF-iest of the WTF moments: they killed Sheriff Lamb! Those bastards!
Veronica Mars has a history of killing characters. In essence, this is a murder mystery show - three of the four mysteries have revolved around a death or deaths (the Heart serial rapist is the only mystery not to claim any victims). But, they've never killed off a regular in mid-season! The only regular to bite it thusfar has been Beaver, and that was at the end of last season when he was revealed as the bus crash mastermind. Plenty of recurrings have died throughout the years (Lilly Kane, obviously; Aaron Echolls, Kendall Casablancas, Meg Manning, etc.), but... wow. And the CW didn't do the "One of the characters will DIE!" thing, of which I'm very impressed. I didn't even believe that Lamb was going to die, even when he was lying on the floor, blood gushing out of his skull after being bashed by Steve Botando. I still can't believe it, even after Keith confirms it and is promoted to Sheriff.
Anyways, onto the story: The murder-mystery-within-the-murder-mystery was wrapped up, and it is discovered that Coach Berry was dying and actually committed suicide. While that was a fine twist (plus all the "double indemnity" stuff totally harkened back to '40s noir), it sucked that the last encounter with Josh was an angry one. Pretty tragic for both of them. But I loved having Mason bound and gagged in the trunk, probably because I really thought he was totally arrogant and whatever. Too bad he didn't do it. Plus, Keith was about to be totally shot by Mrs. Berry, except for the fact that she wasn't. Sooo many red herrings.
Speaking of: I'm usually really good with keeping the details straight of the Veronica Mars mysteries of years past, but this time, I'm totally lost. In the sense of the new development. I know now that Mindy O'Dell and Professor Landry's alibis are in the shitter since now the timeline has been pushed back an hour because the Clippers game Landry claims to have watched actually aired an hour later than thought. Bam! Either of them could have done it. But I'm totally lost as to how Veronica gets to that conclusion.
No! No! Can't... claim... I.... don't.... understand... Must... LIE!!!
I totally got it. I understand all.
Why does that sound like something Amanda from Ugly Betty would say? Think about it.
Since Mindy and Landry are the prime suspects, they obviously aren't the killers. Steve Botando, Mindy's ex-husband who got his BONE MARROW STOLEN by Mindy and the Dean, was somehow involved, but was shot by Sacks after he bashed in Lamb's skull (sob!). Then, that leaves Tim Foyle as a suspect, trying to frame Landry. Or is it shady businessman Mel Stoltz, who was also involved with Coach Berry? My thought (and what I hope is true) is that it's a conspiracy between Nish, Fern, and Claire, as revenge for reinstating the Greek system and invalidating the chaos from the serial rapist.
I do love how this mystery, while completely separate from the rapist plot, is totally affected and intertwined with it. So, it still feels like a season-long mystery, though they are technically separate. And I love the continuity fairies, who I guess have deemed it that in the Neptune universe, whenever a character is dying or dead, the smell of food is always present (Lamb's last words are "I smell bread"; when Veronica thinks Keith is dead, she has a dream where he's in the kitchen and says "Do you smell bacon?").
In personal land, Veronica and Logan are broken up and not emo anymore, Mac and Bronson are dating (and fucking, as we see), Logan begins to have twitches for Parker, and Veronica is appropriately weirded out. When are she and Piz gonna finally get together? Stupid teen angsty drama!
The mystery is wrapped up next week, and I can't fucking wait.
RIP Sheriff Don Lamb. We hardly knew ye.
All in all: A
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Brothers and Sisters 1.15: Love is Difficult
"Well, he said that I wasn't as smart as Hillary Clinton, but I was prettier."
Silly, silly Sarah. You stupid bitch. Honestly, Sarah, you think that just because your husband is talking to another woman doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Plus, didn't your ass almost have an affair with Noah in the pilot? Well, luckily for me, the continuity fairies also seem to remember this, as Sarah tearfully confesses during an extremely awkward couples-therapy session with The Sloane Clone (aka Joel Grey) as their therapist that she was planning on having an affair with Noah long ago, and felt that Dad's infidelity with Holly very well might have been passed down to her. Way to blame everything on your dead father, Sarah.
Speaking of: the writers present the Sarah/Tommy rivalry in a new light - I totally now see that Sarah and Tommy are supposed to be Cain and Abel, which I guess makes Tom Skerritt God. An interesting image, I guess. But honestly, the Cain/Abel slant on the story made things a whole lot more interesting and heartfelt, as I totally jumped on the Tommy bandwagon here. Sarah is a complete control freak, and for the first time, I have absolutely no sympathy for her. And now with Tommy leaving Ojai to go start the winery with Holly, Cain has symbolically killed Abel. But, the question remains, would I want to drink wine bottled by Grace and Dr. Barnett? (For those not in the know, Balthazar Getty and Patricia Wettig were both on Alias, playing Thomas Grace and Dr. Judy Barnett, respectively).
Speaking of Holly (who I guess would be Satan in the whole Bible analogy), I noticed a new cast member in the opening credits, which totally intrigued me - someone named Emily VanCamp, and I was like, "Who the fuck is that?" So, of course, I had to go to IMDB to check her out (in both senses of the word), and while her headshot and resume were there, there was no mention of her being a regular on Brothers and Sisters. I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom was instantly like, "She's their missing sister." Ahhh! Bingo! Holly's daughter Rebecca. Well, I guess this means that she'll be around for a while, and boy does she look like Sarah! Good casting, Casting Gods.
In other story land, Kevin breaks up with Chad because he refuses to come out of the closet (plus, the fact that Michelle's called him, telling him that Chad has left girls to be with guys, then goes back to girls again), which is totally fine with me. I'm all for Kevin finding a neurotic straight-gay like him, but all he finds are either sensitive femmes like Scotty (who I guess was kinda cute with him), or closet-case assholes like Chad. But I suppose the show is all about showing the wide range of current-day homosexuality. Coolbeans, I guess. But Kevin, meanwhile, is a single asshole, as opposed to being a taken asshole. Kitty discovers that the Senator's staff has done a poll on her, since they all know she's fucking him. She gets offended, but the Senator calms her nerves and makes it all funny and shit, which he does a lot.
I wonder if Republicans can be that funny. JUST KIDDING, REPUBLICAN(S)! It's just a joke, and this is just a stupid blog.
Since we're on the subject of the Senator, since he's running for President, wouldn't it be great if Brothers and Sisters did a crossover with 24, and have an assassination attempt on the Senator, all spearheaded by Reed? That would mean Chad Lowe is trying to kill Rob Lowe. That would make for interesting TV.
All in all: B+
Until next time. Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Silly, silly Sarah. You stupid bitch. Honestly, Sarah, you think that just because your husband is talking to another woman doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Plus, didn't your ass almost have an affair with Noah in the pilot? Well, luckily for me, the continuity fairies also seem to remember this, as Sarah tearfully confesses during an extremely awkward couples-therapy session with The Sloane Clone (aka Joel Grey) as their therapist that she was planning on having an affair with Noah long ago, and felt that Dad's infidelity with Holly very well might have been passed down to her. Way to blame everything on your dead father, Sarah.
Speaking of: the writers present the Sarah/Tommy rivalry in a new light - I totally now see that Sarah and Tommy are supposed to be Cain and Abel, which I guess makes Tom Skerritt God. An interesting image, I guess. But honestly, the Cain/Abel slant on the story made things a whole lot more interesting and heartfelt, as I totally jumped on the Tommy bandwagon here. Sarah is a complete control freak, and for the first time, I have absolutely no sympathy for her. And now with Tommy leaving Ojai to go start the winery with Holly, Cain has symbolically killed Abel. But, the question remains, would I want to drink wine bottled by Grace and Dr. Barnett? (For those not in the know, Balthazar Getty and Patricia Wettig were both on Alias, playing Thomas Grace and Dr. Judy Barnett, respectively).
Speaking of Holly (who I guess would be Satan in the whole Bible analogy), I noticed a new cast member in the opening credits, which totally intrigued me - someone named Emily VanCamp, and I was like, "Who the fuck is that?" So, of course, I had to go to IMDB to check her out (in both senses of the word), and while her headshot and resume were there, there was no mention of her being a regular on Brothers and Sisters. I mentioned this to my parents, and my mom was instantly like, "She's their missing sister." Ahhh! Bingo! Holly's daughter Rebecca. Well, I guess this means that she'll be around for a while, and boy does she look like Sarah! Good casting, Casting Gods.
In other story land, Kevin breaks up with Chad because he refuses to come out of the closet (plus, the fact that Michelle's called him, telling him that Chad has left girls to be with guys, then goes back to girls again), which is totally fine with me. I'm all for Kevin finding a neurotic straight-gay like him, but all he finds are either sensitive femmes like Scotty (who I guess was kinda cute with him), or closet-case assholes like Chad. But I suppose the show is all about showing the wide range of current-day homosexuality. Coolbeans, I guess. But Kevin, meanwhile, is a single asshole, as opposed to being a taken asshole. Kitty discovers that the Senator's staff has done a poll on her, since they all know she's fucking him. She gets offended, but the Senator calms her nerves and makes it all funny and shit, which he does a lot.
I wonder if Republicans can be that funny. JUST KIDDING, REPUBLICAN(S)! It's just a joke, and this is just a stupid blog.
Since we're on the subject of the Senator, since he's running for President, wouldn't it be great if Brothers and Sisters did a crossover with 24, and have an assassination attempt on the Senator, all spearheaded by Reed? That would mean Chad Lowe is trying to kill Rob Lowe. That would make for interesting TV.
All in all: B+
Until next time. Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip 1.16: 4AM Miracle
"How did the baby get its head into the guillotine?"
There's a moment early on in this episode where Matt discusses that there's a sketch spoofing Cinemax softcore porn. First of all, I, as an expert of said porn, would have loved to see this sketch. Hey, remember when this show used to show us the sketches? Second, the scenario he describes (which is not at all how a Cinemax porno is told) happens: a tall, blonde executive with glasses walks into the office behind him, played by Kari Matchett. Kari Matchett, also known as AlienMommy from Invasion, is not a softcore porn queen, by the way.
She plays Mary Tate, a lawyer who is searching for witnesses in a case of a former writer who's suing NBS because "she's not one of the boys." Now, the reasoning for her being there were a bit confusing (how could Matt be a character witness if he wasn't working there at the time? Well, whatever, Aaron Sorkin says it is so, then it is so). But it was an interesting way to get into the past of this show. I think that sometimes Aaron writes things that may not make as much sense in real life, but are purely for character purposes, and I'm fine with that.
Meanwhile, something bothers me slightly. Harriet is busy filming the Rolling Stones movie that Luke is directing, and she keeps stopping the take because she doesn't understand her character's motivation or why she's there and it feels untruthful. Which is a fine thought, but a strangely unprofessional way for Harriet to do it. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to just stop filming to ask a question that she should have asked during the table reading. Whatever, though, Sarah Paulson sells it. Oh, and Harriet dumps Luke. In a kinda mean way.
And then we come to Danny and Jordan. Oh... remember when Danny was a recovering coke addict? Remember when Jordan was a rebellious studio head? Yeah, me too. I'm sure that this romance plot is a mixture of NBC interfering with the show creatively ("We need more ratings! Give us another love story!") and a way to mask Amanda Peet's pregnancy, but... a high school practice baby? That cost $600? I don't know. The wacky hijinx surrounding the practice baby didn't sit well with me, but I did like that Danny thought it was ridiculous also, and the thought of a baby getting the Marie Antoinette treatment is fun for me, a sicko who loves dead baby jokes.
I could appreciate Sorkin's diatribe on slipping ratings. Actually, I loved it. And I agreed. Ratings are completely irrelevant when it comes to quality. But, alas, such is the business. But I guess if Studio 60 was on CBS, it would have tons of ratings.
CoughcoughcoughcoughCBSisabunchofliarscoughcoughcough.
All in all: B
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
There's a moment early on in this episode where Matt discusses that there's a sketch spoofing Cinemax softcore porn. First of all, I, as an expert of said porn, would have loved to see this sketch. Hey, remember when this show used to show us the sketches? Second, the scenario he describes (which is not at all how a Cinemax porno is told) happens: a tall, blonde executive with glasses walks into the office behind him, played by Kari Matchett. Kari Matchett, also known as AlienMommy from Invasion, is not a softcore porn queen, by the way.
She plays Mary Tate, a lawyer who is searching for witnesses in a case of a former writer who's suing NBS because "she's not one of the boys." Now, the reasoning for her being there were a bit confusing (how could Matt be a character witness if he wasn't working there at the time? Well, whatever, Aaron Sorkin says it is so, then it is so). But it was an interesting way to get into the past of this show. I think that sometimes Aaron writes things that may not make as much sense in real life, but are purely for character purposes, and I'm fine with that.
Meanwhile, something bothers me slightly. Harriet is busy filming the Rolling Stones movie that Luke is directing, and she keeps stopping the take because she doesn't understand her character's motivation or why she's there and it feels untruthful. Which is a fine thought, but a strangely unprofessional way for Harriet to do it. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to just stop filming to ask a question that she should have asked during the table reading. Whatever, though, Sarah Paulson sells it. Oh, and Harriet dumps Luke. In a kinda mean way.
And then we come to Danny and Jordan. Oh... remember when Danny was a recovering coke addict? Remember when Jordan was a rebellious studio head? Yeah, me too. I'm sure that this romance plot is a mixture of NBC interfering with the show creatively ("We need more ratings! Give us another love story!") and a way to mask Amanda Peet's pregnancy, but... a high school practice baby? That cost $600? I don't know. The wacky hijinx surrounding the practice baby didn't sit well with me, but I did like that Danny thought it was ridiculous also, and the thought of a baby getting the Marie Antoinette treatment is fun for me, a sicko who loves dead baby jokes.
I could appreciate Sorkin's diatribe on slipping ratings. Actually, I loved it. And I agreed. Ratings are completely irrelevant when it comes to quality. But, alas, such is the business. But I guess if Studio 60 was on CBS, it would have tons of ratings.
CoughcoughcoughcoughCBSisabunchofliarscoughcoughcough.
All in all: B
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
24 6.10: Day 6 - 3:00PM - 4:00PM
"You turned your back on me to be a, what? A civil servant?"
But you're wrong, Phillip Bauer. Jack Bauer's not a civil servant, he's America's superhero!
Or at least that's what the 24 fanboys who get hard-ons for Chloe would have you believe. I am one of, like, five people in America who completely disagree.
Jack saves Milo and Marilyn (which, was there any chance that he wouldn't? Maybe if this was Season One), and then Marilyn tearfully confesses that Phillip is holding Josh hostage. Now, let me say this about Rena Sofer as Marilyn Bauer... she is strikingly beautiful (her blue eyes are nearly blinding), and she bears a slight resemblence to Amanda Peet. But, I can't help but compare Marilyn to the bevy of beauties that Jack has had over the years: I'd rank her at the bottom, and this is why. Obviously, my favorite of Jack's leading ladies has been his wife, Teri, because she's his frickin' wife, as well as just being a completely realistic character alongside him, a normal woman caught up in extraordinary circumstances. Plus, I bought the love between them, and her death has been one of the most affecting the show has produced. Ever. Then, in second place is Audrey Raines, because she was awesome and was pretty kick-ass considering she was held hostage, tortured by Jack for being suspected as a mole, been involved in various political intricacies, and had the worst day during Season Four (more on that later). In third place, Kate Warner because, despite only having three facial expressions, had her own insane storyline that affected the others - plus, the drama with Marie was pretty priceless. Fourth and last is a tie between Marilyn, who I think is beautiful, but basically a damsel-in-distress, and Claudia, Jack's Mexican paramour who was a stereotypically fiery Latin spitfire ala Carmen who came and died and was pretty incosequential. Plus, it doesn't help that Rena Sofer hasn't grown as an actress since her days as Lois Ashton on General Hospital. There's a scene where she cries and cries and... no tears... and she keeps crying.
In other story land, Milo is injured and is returned to CTU as a hero, which makes Morris feel like shit... which leads to a potential alcoholic relapse. Which Morris bravely gets rid of, vomiting up the fifth of whiskey that he's just downed outside a liquor store (while leaving his RedBull and Altoids, behind... Hello, Product Placement!). I guess it means that Morris was a bulimic in high school, because he has that curved-finger-in-the-throat thing down! And it makes sense that Morris would have been someone like that in high school, since he is a sensitive British type. "Morris, you're worthless because you're a coward who helped arm some nukes!" "Shut up! This is because I'm fat, isn't it, you sodding wanker?!" BARF. I am also tickled by thoughts that Milo is cringing and moving so slowly at CTU because of the bullet in his arm, while Morris, who had a fucking drill in his shoulder a few hours ago, is operating fine. I will just add that at this juncture, Morris has won me over as my favorite character of the season.
The presidential assassination story, with Lennox and Reed plotting eeeeevil, also tickles me. I think the story itself is fine, but the way the two are presented conspiring with each other is hilarious, particularly in this episode. Honestly, Atlantic Starr's song "Secret Lovers" plays in my head every time they run off to the closet together, whispering in breathy, husky voices. When Lennox decides that it's wrong to try to kill President Palmer (the dumb one), Reed punches him out, hurt and teary, then binds and gags him... very lovingly, as we see in the final box.
Jack's story... blah blah blah. This is a storyline where Kim would have totally benefitted, since Jack flat out tells Phillip that the Bauer family only consists of the two of them, Marilyn, and Josh. I love that Jack (and the writers) have totally forgotten Kim, a regular of the first three seasons that the writers have decided to excise from the universe (despite a few vague mentions of Teri and the elder President Palmer). This season has totally made me miss the characters that the show has written off because I think they would fit better: Tony and Michelle taking the place of Buchanan and Karen would have given more weight to those stories, Kim involved with the current Bauer family plot since she is part of the family and also a "civil servant"... if this show pulled the characters-back-from-the-dead thing, I would have loved to see Sherry be the mastermind behind Wayne's assassination attempt, or maybe trying to stop it. Well... I guess she would have been more useful last season, hunting down David's killers. Alas.
At this point, I submit: Who has had the worst day this season thus far? In my opinion, the following characters have had that honor in seasons past -
Day One - The Bauer family (Jack, Teri, Kim), who went through, respectively, kidnapping, coersion into assassinating a senator, various bombings, shootings, jail, drugs, amnesia, meeting your wife's mistress, and death.
Day Two - President David Palmer, who handled a country through a nuke hunt and its aftermath, dealt with an internal coup, let his ex-wife back into his life only to be betrayed by her again, was temporarily impeached and held captive in the LA Federal Building, and then poisoned through a Fruit Roll-Up of Death applied to his palm.
Day Three - Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler, both of whom dealt with his being shot IN THE NECK, her being trapped in a hotel saturated with a lethal virus, her kidnapping and his committing treason to save her, and the ensuing divorce.
Day Four - Audrey Raines, who was kidnapped, rescued, thought her ex-husband was evil, then fell back in love with him, then saw him die, then thought her father was a terrorist, then found out her brother kinda was, then discovered he was gay, then thought that Jack had died.
Day Five - President David Palmer, Michelle Dessler, and Tony Almeida because they all DIED HORRIBLE DEATHS. But not Edgar. Fuck him, and I'm glad he died! You hear me, 24-verse? I'M GLAD HE DIED!!! Oh, wow. Where are my senses?
Day Six -
Who is it?
Is it President Logan? Well, he's not in this season. Or is he?
Yes, he is! All lumberjacky-looking. Which leads me to wonder, where is Martha? Screwing Aaron Pierce in some exotic locale? And how can Logan help Jack with all this? Oh, 24. You and the questions you ask. Or cause. 'Cuz I ask the questions, you don't. You just answer them. Sometimes.
The best thing about this episode? No Sandra. Fucking. Palmer. Thank God!
All in all: C+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
But you're wrong, Phillip Bauer. Jack Bauer's not a civil servant, he's America's superhero!
Or at least that's what the 24 fanboys who get hard-ons for Chloe would have you believe. I am one of, like, five people in America who completely disagree.
Jack saves Milo and Marilyn (which, was there any chance that he wouldn't? Maybe if this was Season One), and then Marilyn tearfully confesses that Phillip is holding Josh hostage. Now, let me say this about Rena Sofer as Marilyn Bauer... she is strikingly beautiful (her blue eyes are nearly blinding), and she bears a slight resemblence to Amanda Peet. But, I can't help but compare Marilyn to the bevy of beauties that Jack has had over the years: I'd rank her at the bottom, and this is why. Obviously, my favorite of Jack's leading ladies has been his wife, Teri, because she's his frickin' wife, as well as just being a completely realistic character alongside him, a normal woman caught up in extraordinary circumstances. Plus, I bought the love between them, and her death has been one of the most affecting the show has produced. Ever. Then, in second place is Audrey Raines, because she was awesome and was pretty kick-ass considering she was held hostage, tortured by Jack for being suspected as a mole, been involved in various political intricacies, and had the worst day during Season Four (more on that later). In third place, Kate Warner because, despite only having three facial expressions, had her own insane storyline that affected the others - plus, the drama with Marie was pretty priceless. Fourth and last is a tie between Marilyn, who I think is beautiful, but basically a damsel-in-distress, and Claudia, Jack's Mexican paramour who was a stereotypically fiery Latin spitfire ala Carmen who came and died and was pretty incosequential. Plus, it doesn't help that Rena Sofer hasn't grown as an actress since her days as Lois Ashton on General Hospital. There's a scene where she cries and cries and... no tears... and she keeps crying.
In other story land, Milo is injured and is returned to CTU as a hero, which makes Morris feel like shit... which leads to a potential alcoholic relapse. Which Morris bravely gets rid of, vomiting up the fifth of whiskey that he's just downed outside a liquor store (while leaving his RedBull and Altoids, behind... Hello, Product Placement!). I guess it means that Morris was a bulimic in high school, because he has that curved-finger-in-the-throat thing down! And it makes sense that Morris would have been someone like that in high school, since he is a sensitive British type. "Morris, you're worthless because you're a coward who helped arm some nukes!" "Shut up! This is because I'm fat, isn't it, you sodding wanker?!" BARF. I am also tickled by thoughts that Milo is cringing and moving so slowly at CTU because of the bullet in his arm, while Morris, who had a fucking drill in his shoulder a few hours ago, is operating fine. I will just add that at this juncture, Morris has won me over as my favorite character of the season.
The presidential assassination story, with Lennox and Reed plotting eeeeevil, also tickles me. I think the story itself is fine, but the way the two are presented conspiring with each other is hilarious, particularly in this episode. Honestly, Atlantic Starr's song "Secret Lovers" plays in my head every time they run off to the closet together, whispering in breathy, husky voices. When Lennox decides that it's wrong to try to kill President Palmer (the dumb one), Reed punches him out, hurt and teary, then binds and gags him... very lovingly, as we see in the final box.
Jack's story... blah blah blah. This is a storyline where Kim would have totally benefitted, since Jack flat out tells Phillip that the Bauer family only consists of the two of them, Marilyn, and Josh. I love that Jack (and the writers) have totally forgotten Kim, a regular of the first three seasons that the writers have decided to excise from the universe (despite a few vague mentions of Teri and the elder President Palmer). This season has totally made me miss the characters that the show has written off because I think they would fit better: Tony and Michelle taking the place of Buchanan and Karen would have given more weight to those stories, Kim involved with the current Bauer family plot since she is part of the family and also a "civil servant"... if this show pulled the characters-back-from-the-dead thing, I would have loved to see Sherry be the mastermind behind Wayne's assassination attempt, or maybe trying to stop it. Well... I guess she would have been more useful last season, hunting down David's killers. Alas.
At this point, I submit: Who has had the worst day this season thus far? In my opinion, the following characters have had that honor in seasons past -
Day One - The Bauer family (Jack, Teri, Kim), who went through, respectively, kidnapping, coersion into assassinating a senator, various bombings, shootings, jail, drugs, amnesia, meeting your wife's mistress, and death.
Day Two - President David Palmer, who handled a country through a nuke hunt and its aftermath, dealt with an internal coup, let his ex-wife back into his life only to be betrayed by her again, was temporarily impeached and held captive in the LA Federal Building, and then poisoned through a Fruit Roll-Up of Death applied to his palm.
Day Three - Tony Almeida and Michelle Dessler, both of whom dealt with his being shot IN THE NECK, her being trapped in a hotel saturated with a lethal virus, her kidnapping and his committing treason to save her, and the ensuing divorce.
Day Four - Audrey Raines, who was kidnapped, rescued, thought her ex-husband was evil, then fell back in love with him, then saw him die, then thought her father was a terrorist, then found out her brother kinda was, then discovered he was gay, then thought that Jack had died.
Day Five - President David Palmer, Michelle Dessler, and Tony Almeida because they all DIED HORRIBLE DEATHS. But not Edgar. Fuck him, and I'm glad he died! You hear me, 24-verse? I'M GLAD HE DIED!!! Oh, wow. Where are my senses?
Day Six -
Who is it?
Is it President Logan? Well, he's not in this season. Or is he?
Yes, he is! All lumberjacky-looking. Which leads me to wonder, where is Martha? Screwing Aaron Pierce in some exotic locale? And how can Logan help Jack with all this? Oh, 24. You and the questions you ask. Or cause. 'Cuz I ask the questions, you don't. You just answer them. Sometimes.
The best thing about this episode? No Sandra. Fucking. Palmer. Thank God!
All in all: C+
Until next time, same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
How I Met Your Mother 2.16: Stuff
"I'm stupid, but I've got a bigger rack than you!"
Okay, so I thought the main plot of the episode - Ted and Robin fight over the fact that so much of their stuff (his random knicknacks literally all over the apartment, her dogs) were given to them by exes and they haven't gotten rid of it - was a bit on the dull side. While I thought the visualization of each person's respective stuff as the exes was pretty funny, I don't know... I just think that Ted and Robin together are kinda boring.
Oh, man! Did I just say that? Why, yes I did.
I mean, I love that they're together, mostly because I'm happy for Ted. I see some of myself in Ted (I mean, I know I tend to overidentify with characters a lot, and Ted is one of them)... not completely, but I guess I see a lot of the friendship between me and my best friend in the friendship between Ted and Marshall. So I identify. But, Ted and Robin are just... kinda dull when they're in love and together. It's the same argument that Alanis Morissette's music just isn't as good when she's happy in a relationship as when she's angry and sad. Both are good, just one's better on a purely entertainment level.
This episode spelled some interesting things for them, though, in my opinion. Firstly, I was convinced last season that Barney had the hots for Robin and that they'd end up together when the show ended. This episode had a slight reference - Barney saying out of the blue: "Yeah, you two should break up already" - that makes me think I might be right. Plus, the episode end revelation that Ted and Robin are going to break up makes me think that this might be the beginning of the end for them.
The subplot, however: Pure Fucking Genius! Lily gets asked by a friend to be in a grungy frige play in a tiny cramped room several stories up, where the stage manager is also the lighting designer and sound effects guy, and where the three/four actors stand in black, pretending to be vices that are destroying our society. Plus, it's three hours long. It totally was a stereotype of bad theater, yet also very accurate, which is very hard to pull off. It reminded me of some of Karen Finlay's performance pieces we had to watch at UCLA in our Theater history classes, so I had lots of fun with it. But I wonder if it was as funny for people who aren't into theater? Probably, since it was such a stereotype.
Barney gets revenge by putting up his own play, where he stands up for forty-five minutes reciting Lily's least favorite word "moist." I found that hilarious, because she unintentionally twitches every time the word is uttered, most like I cringe every time I hear the word "c-a-c-a" (I can't even spell the damn word) or the phrase "Let's have a quick bite." Ick! He then sprays her with a water gun, then portrays a massive love story between a robot (him) and a toaster oven (played by a toaster oven).
Oh! And Marshall gave Barney Slap #2! Three more to go! Love the continuity fairies.
I think this show has definitely fallen to the wayside for me because it's not as "loud," if you will, as some other shows, but it's definitely a great show, and a very realistic one, obviously since Craig and Carter have based this mostly on their lives. I am excited to see where the show goes.
All in all: B+
Well, until next time... same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Okay, so I thought the main plot of the episode - Ted and Robin fight over the fact that so much of their stuff (his random knicknacks literally all over the apartment, her dogs) were given to them by exes and they haven't gotten rid of it - was a bit on the dull side. While I thought the visualization of each person's respective stuff as the exes was pretty funny, I don't know... I just think that Ted and Robin together are kinda boring.
Oh, man! Did I just say that? Why, yes I did.
I mean, I love that they're together, mostly because I'm happy for Ted. I see some of myself in Ted (I mean, I know I tend to overidentify with characters a lot, and Ted is one of them)... not completely, but I guess I see a lot of the friendship between me and my best friend in the friendship between Ted and Marshall. So I identify. But, Ted and Robin are just... kinda dull when they're in love and together. It's the same argument that Alanis Morissette's music just isn't as good when she's happy in a relationship as when she's angry and sad. Both are good, just one's better on a purely entertainment level.
This episode spelled some interesting things for them, though, in my opinion. Firstly, I was convinced last season that Barney had the hots for Robin and that they'd end up together when the show ended. This episode had a slight reference - Barney saying out of the blue: "Yeah, you two should break up already" - that makes me think I might be right. Plus, the episode end revelation that Ted and Robin are going to break up makes me think that this might be the beginning of the end for them.
The subplot, however: Pure Fucking Genius! Lily gets asked by a friend to be in a grungy frige play in a tiny cramped room several stories up, where the stage manager is also the lighting designer and sound effects guy, and where the three/four actors stand in black, pretending to be vices that are destroying our society. Plus, it's three hours long. It totally was a stereotype of bad theater, yet also very accurate, which is very hard to pull off. It reminded me of some of Karen Finlay's performance pieces we had to watch at UCLA in our Theater history classes, so I had lots of fun with it. But I wonder if it was as funny for people who aren't into theater? Probably, since it was such a stereotype.
Barney gets revenge by putting up his own play, where he stands up for forty-five minutes reciting Lily's least favorite word "moist." I found that hilarious, because she unintentionally twitches every time the word is uttered, most like I cringe every time I hear the word "c-a-c-a" (I can't even spell the damn word) or the phrase "Let's have a quick bite." Ick! He then sprays her with a water gun, then portrays a massive love story between a robot (him) and a toaster oven (played by a toaster oven).
Oh! And Marshall gave Barney Slap #2! Three more to go! Love the continuity fairies.
I think this show has definitely fallen to the wayside for me because it's not as "loud," if you will, as some other shows, but it's definitely a great show, and a very realistic one, obviously since Craig and Carter have based this mostly on their lives. I am excited to see where the show goes.
All in all: B+
Well, until next time... same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Desperate Housewives 3.15: The Little Things You Do Together
"Do the whole jealous Latin ex-husband thing you do!"
Let's begin the blogging madness!
The episode begins with one of Mary Alice's longest recaps. EVER. Which, obviously means that this episode's gonna be good. Which, why wouldn't it be? It's in the middle of February sweeps, it's written by Marc Cherry, and... but then again, I flashback to last season's Februray sweeps episodes: Drunk Bree losing Lynette's demon spawn, Karl proposes to Susan so she can get medical insurance for her floating spleen surgery (you read that correctly)... oh God! Let's hope that it won't be that bad! But then again, we have a great twisty murder mystery involving all our women, as opposed to Betty Applewhite hiding her reatrded spawn in the basement. So, it should be good, right?
Right it is! Even the boring subplot is awesome: Lynette and Tom opening the pizzeria. While the Scavos have traditionally had the short end of the stick when it comes to the story department (Lynette going back to work, anyone?), I realize it is so because out of all the characters, Lynette is the most realisitc of all the housewives and whatever, and, honestly, Lynette and Tom battling over who has the balls to run the restaurant isn't even the worst that Cherry and associates have put Felicity Huffman through. But, when the big opening comes and it turns out Lynette ordered the wrong chairs, she goes around the neighborhood grabbing as many chairs from her neighbors to put in the restaurant. In fact, one of the episode's funniest moments came during a seriocomic scene between Gabrielle and Carlos. In the middle of their discussion on Gabrielle's porch, Lynette and her crew run out the front door, elegant chairs in tow. And then, at the opening, Tom gives a heartfelt speech about how Lynette has helped him throughout the opening and how it's wonderful that they're working together... he even cries! Awww!
Next plot up: the Susan/Ian/Mike triangle. Susan and Ian go to the hospital to get Jane's personal effects. By sheer coincidence as only possible on these shows, the hospital mixed up Jane's things with Mike's things. Ian spots the ring that Mike was going to propose to Susan with and decides to propose to her himself... at the pizzeria! Mike, of course, is kinda heartbroken, which will lead to all sorts of fun later, I'm sure. Susan, of course, accepts, which is cool because I like Ian, as opposed to not liking it when she married Karl last season. Ick!
Anyways...
Creepy Zack, with his moppy wig of hair, has now convinced Gabrielle that they had sex last night, which is pretty gross, considering that:
A) Gabby and Mary Alice were best friends back in the day
B) Gabby is about fifteen years older than Creepy Zack (if we assume Creepy Zack is 18 and Gabby is in her mid-30s)... and while the Mrs. Robinson thing is hot in "The Graduate" and "American Pie," it is NOT hot here
C) Creepy Zack is, well, creepy. And extremely pasty. He's shirtless, and his extremely white skin almost blends in with the pale grey boxers. Kinda gross.
Even grosser than that? The fact that Creepy Zack has a huge penis, which is confirmed by Carlos, when he attempts to intimidate Creepy Zack in the pizzeria bathroom into leaving Gabby alone. Carlos surmises that the Creepy Cock is too big for Gabby to not remember fucking Creepy Zack, so Gabby confronts Creepy Zack into confessing that he made up the whole thing. And then Creepy Zack proposes to Gabby after Ian proposes to Susan, and everyone is appropriately creeped out. When some stranger who obviously doesn't live in Fairview or on Wisteria Lane begins to applaud, Gabby snaps, "No! There will be no applause here!" Then, she breaks Creepy Zack's heart, and he disappears into the night. I'm sure he will be back in some fashion.
Now, the A-plot: Who killed Monique Polier? And how is the Hodge family connected? While every road totally pointed to Orson doing it (which obviously meant he didn't), it was revealed that... well, let's get to things in order. Orson survives his fall by having the fall softened by a tree, during which he flashes to the night that Monique was murdered by... his mother Gloria! Dun dun DUN! Gloria blackmails Orson into helping her dispose of the body, because, we discover, Orson caused his father's suicide when he was a teenager (hence his freaking out when Danielle faked suicide). But, of course, Orson later surmises that Gloria killed his father, too, because he was cheating on her. Which is why Gloria killed Monique and favored Alma... and then tries to kill a bedridden Bree. Um, overidentify much? Andrew tries to save Bree (but he's knocked out by Gloria's cane), but then Orson does it, gets into a psychological-thriller-finale fight with Gloria, throwing her to the floor and causing her to go into a stroke. He then takes the paralyzed Gloria to Alma's house across the street, where Alma is dead in the rosebushes (she escaped the attic where Gloria had her hostage, then falls off the roof while trying to get Danielle's attention). The police surmise that Alma killed Monique (Orson plants the bag of teeth next to her body, along with her faux-suicide note) and that Gloria had a stroke when she found the body, which totally exhonorates Mike. It's all terribly convenient, but wonderfully satisfying.
Which gets me to thinking... where will the rest of the season go from here? It's ballsy of Cherry and associates to wrap up the season mystery with six episodes left, which leaves the question of whether they are going to start planting seeds for Season Four, or just basic stand-alones. I would love to see some of the stories from earlier in the season that were just touched on revisited, like pedophile Art returning to the neighborhood, or Carolyn Bigsby... well, she's dead. But I would LOVE it if she weren't dead. Ahh, well. According to the previews, Danielle is pregnant, Edie's long-lost son returns, and...
All in all: A
See you in two weeks, Wisteria Lane! Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Let's begin the blogging madness!
The episode begins with one of Mary Alice's longest recaps. EVER. Which, obviously means that this episode's gonna be good. Which, why wouldn't it be? It's in the middle of February sweeps, it's written by Marc Cherry, and... but then again, I flashback to last season's Februray sweeps episodes: Drunk Bree losing Lynette's demon spawn, Karl proposes to Susan so she can get medical insurance for her floating spleen surgery (you read that correctly)... oh God! Let's hope that it won't be that bad! But then again, we have a great twisty murder mystery involving all our women, as opposed to Betty Applewhite hiding her reatrded spawn in the basement. So, it should be good, right?
Right it is! Even the boring subplot is awesome: Lynette and Tom opening the pizzeria. While the Scavos have traditionally had the short end of the stick when it comes to the story department (Lynette going back to work, anyone?), I realize it is so because out of all the characters, Lynette is the most realisitc of all the housewives and whatever, and, honestly, Lynette and Tom battling over who has the balls to run the restaurant isn't even the worst that Cherry and associates have put Felicity Huffman through. But, when the big opening comes and it turns out Lynette ordered the wrong chairs, she goes around the neighborhood grabbing as many chairs from her neighbors to put in the restaurant. In fact, one of the episode's funniest moments came during a seriocomic scene between Gabrielle and Carlos. In the middle of their discussion on Gabrielle's porch, Lynette and her crew run out the front door, elegant chairs in tow. And then, at the opening, Tom gives a heartfelt speech about how Lynette has helped him throughout the opening and how it's wonderful that they're working together... he even cries! Awww!
Next plot up: the Susan/Ian/Mike triangle. Susan and Ian go to the hospital to get Jane's personal effects. By sheer coincidence as only possible on these shows, the hospital mixed up Jane's things with Mike's things. Ian spots the ring that Mike was going to propose to Susan with and decides to propose to her himself... at the pizzeria! Mike, of course, is kinda heartbroken, which will lead to all sorts of fun later, I'm sure. Susan, of course, accepts, which is cool because I like Ian, as opposed to not liking it when she married Karl last season. Ick!
Anyways...
Creepy Zack, with his moppy wig of hair, has now convinced Gabrielle that they had sex last night, which is pretty gross, considering that:
A) Gabby and Mary Alice were best friends back in the day
B) Gabby is about fifteen years older than Creepy Zack (if we assume Creepy Zack is 18 and Gabby is in her mid-30s)... and while the Mrs. Robinson thing is hot in "The Graduate" and "American Pie," it is NOT hot here
C) Creepy Zack is, well, creepy. And extremely pasty. He's shirtless, and his extremely white skin almost blends in with the pale grey boxers. Kinda gross.
Even grosser than that? The fact that Creepy Zack has a huge penis, which is confirmed by Carlos, when he attempts to intimidate Creepy Zack in the pizzeria bathroom into leaving Gabby alone. Carlos surmises that the Creepy Cock is too big for Gabby to not remember fucking Creepy Zack, so Gabby confronts Creepy Zack into confessing that he made up the whole thing. And then Creepy Zack proposes to Gabby after Ian proposes to Susan, and everyone is appropriately creeped out. When some stranger who obviously doesn't live in Fairview or on Wisteria Lane begins to applaud, Gabby snaps, "No! There will be no applause here!" Then, she breaks Creepy Zack's heart, and he disappears into the night. I'm sure he will be back in some fashion.
Now, the A-plot: Who killed Monique Polier? And how is the Hodge family connected? While every road totally pointed to Orson doing it (which obviously meant he didn't), it was revealed that... well, let's get to things in order. Orson survives his fall by having the fall softened by a tree, during which he flashes to the night that Monique was murdered by... his mother Gloria! Dun dun DUN! Gloria blackmails Orson into helping her dispose of the body, because, we discover, Orson caused his father's suicide when he was a teenager (hence his freaking out when Danielle faked suicide). But, of course, Orson later surmises that Gloria killed his father, too, because he was cheating on her. Which is why Gloria killed Monique and favored Alma... and then tries to kill a bedridden Bree. Um, overidentify much? Andrew tries to save Bree (but he's knocked out by Gloria's cane), but then Orson does it, gets into a psychological-thriller-finale fight with Gloria, throwing her to the floor and causing her to go into a stroke. He then takes the paralyzed Gloria to Alma's house across the street, where Alma is dead in the rosebushes (she escaped the attic where Gloria had her hostage, then falls off the roof while trying to get Danielle's attention). The police surmise that Alma killed Monique (Orson plants the bag of teeth next to her body, along with her faux-suicide note) and that Gloria had a stroke when she found the body, which totally exhonorates Mike. It's all terribly convenient, but wonderfully satisfying.
Which gets me to thinking... where will the rest of the season go from here? It's ballsy of Cherry and associates to wrap up the season mystery with six episodes left, which leaves the question of whether they are going to start planting seeds for Season Four, or just basic stand-alones. I would love to see some of the stories from earlier in the season that were just touched on revisited, like pedophile Art returning to the neighborhood, or Carolyn Bigsby... well, she's dead. But I would LOVE it if she weren't dead. Ahh, well. According to the previews, Danielle is pregnant, Edie's long-lost son returns, and...
All in all: A
See you in two weeks, Wisteria Lane! Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Pilot (or How I Learned to Stop Watching and Pretend That I'm a Douchebaggy Professor in TV)
I am pretty excited about beginning this new blog. I have been pretty fascinated by the blogging community as of late, and finally I can now be part of it. Well, I guess you could say I've been a part of it since 2001 when I started my LiveJournal. But that was different... that was just crap about my life. That was boring. This blog will have Something Important to say. Something about society, about life. About... TV.
Shut up. TV is very important! It shows us what kind of a culture we are currently in. Like any other business, television caters to the demands of the public. A few years ago, people wanted dumbed-down "experimental" entertainment - hence the wasteland that was the Reality TV era. Not that I'm knocking Reality TV - I have my own personal favorites with "Big Brother," "The Amazing Race," and the amazingness that is the "Flavor of Love"/"I Love New York" empire.
But now, it looks like society is split into several large factions: the Procedurals and the Serials. Procedurals began a few years ago with the groundbreaking "CSI" in 2000, and has gone on to spawn the rest of the "CSI" franchise, "Cold Case," "Without a Trace," "Bones," etc. Granted, probably procedurals started with "Law and Order," and, more specifically, "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit," but I credit the original Las Vegas-based "CSI" as beginning the current trend. These shows deal with one case an episode, with the investigators, well, investigating a case and coming up with a conclusion at the end of the episode. Now, the shows have several character arcs that continue on, but nothing in the realm of story, really, unless it's sweeps, such as "CSI," which this month has brought back The Miniature Killer, a serial killer who plants miniature dioramas of his crime scenes at the crime scenes. But usually, these don't go on for that long. "CSI" was the reigning scripted drama of the last few years, until "Grey's Anatomy" beat it this year. Despite the Serials gaining high watercooler and pop culture status, more Procedurals win in the ratings game then not.
Now, onto the Serials: Serials are shows that have several long-running character and story arcs over the course of any number of seasons. Serials began back in the 1980's, when prime-time soaps like "Dallas," "Dynasty," and "Knots Landing" gained popularity. In the early-90's, serials got a strange sci-fi/mystery twist to them when David Lynch and Mark Frost created "Twin Peaks," which gave birth to "Genre TV," which then gave birth to "The X-Files," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and all other number of shows, the descendants which are continuing today. Now, there are several subgenres within Serial TV: Genre serials, which are the more fantastical of the bunch, which include "Lost," "Heroes," "Battlestar Galactica," "Jericho," and the now-dead "Alias," "Buffy," and "Angel"; Mystery serials, which have one on-going mystery a season, which includes "Veronica Mars" and... "Prison Break," I guess; Sitcom serials, sitcoms that rely on you watching every episode to follow the story, which includes "Entourage" and the now-dead "Arrested Development" and "Sex and the City"; Gimmick serials, serials that are predicated on a particular gimmick, such as "24" and the now-dead "Day Break" and "The Nine," all of which were spawned by the 90's underrated classic "Murder One"; Serial serials, which are like old-school serials in that they have ongoing arcs, but no central story per se, such as "Grey's Anatomy," "Nip/Tuck," "Brothers and Sisters," "The Sopranos," and "The Shield"; and mixture serials, which are mixtures of any of the above, which include "Desperate Housewives," "Ugly Betty," and "Weeds."
Traditionalism is being thrown out the window currently. Even though sitcoms still are around, traditional three-camera sitcoms are becoming more and more irrelevant (even though the Nielsens claim that "Three and a Half Men" is the number one sitcom... which I find suspect... expect a blog on CBS's lies in a little while). What began with "Seinfeld" (a traditional sitcom in terms of being three-camera with a live audience, but groundbreaking in that the characters were not a family or co-workers... just apathetic neurotic friends) culminated in the new single-camera sitcom. Pioneered by "Arrested Development," filmed as a documentary with one-camera and no laugh track, the new sitcom continues strong with "The Office," "My Name is Earl," "Scrubs," "30 Rock," and "Knights of Prosperity." There are a few traditional sitcoms, but some, like "How I Met Your Mother," throw three-camera physics out the window and proceed with flashbacks, flash-forwards, and asides, despite the idea of a "live" audience.
Another fun thing to see now is how some shows blatantly borrow from others. While this has always gone on (what law show doesn't look like another, sometimes?), even the stylistic differences across genres are being taken. For instance: I love snappy dialogue on TV. Arguably, this began with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," where the students of Sunnydale High spoke in a highly stylized near-"Heathers"-level of nonexistent slang. This led to other such stylized speakings, like "Gilmore Girls," which is famous for its Preston Sturges speed and its ability to squeeze in seven pop culture references in ten seconds, "Veronica Mars," which prides itself on Dashiell Hammet speed and snap, and "Grey's Anatomy," which has seen the inside jokes and nicknames spoken by its characters (McDreamy, "Seriously!", vahjayjay, etc.) become part of the national lexicon. The fun part of all this is seeing a show like "Bones" try to bogart this stylized speech for itself. It works fine, but it's funny because it wasn't there at the beginning. Only until recently have Bones and Booth had back-and-forth banter not seen on a Procedural.
Well, that's enough of me waxing douchebag on TV. This blog will consist mostly of reviews of the TV I watch, along with the occassional post about where I think culture is headed with TV and vice versa. I really hope you stay tuned for it.
Until then. Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
Shut up. TV is very important! It shows us what kind of a culture we are currently in. Like any other business, television caters to the demands of the public. A few years ago, people wanted dumbed-down "experimental" entertainment - hence the wasteland that was the Reality TV era. Not that I'm knocking Reality TV - I have my own personal favorites with "Big Brother," "The Amazing Race," and the amazingness that is the "Flavor of Love"/"I Love New York" empire.
But now, it looks like society is split into several large factions: the Procedurals and the Serials. Procedurals began a few years ago with the groundbreaking "CSI" in 2000, and has gone on to spawn the rest of the "CSI" franchise, "Cold Case," "Without a Trace," "Bones," etc. Granted, probably procedurals started with "Law and Order," and, more specifically, "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit," but I credit the original Las Vegas-based "CSI" as beginning the current trend. These shows deal with one case an episode, with the investigators, well, investigating a case and coming up with a conclusion at the end of the episode. Now, the shows have several character arcs that continue on, but nothing in the realm of story, really, unless it's sweeps, such as "CSI," which this month has brought back The Miniature Killer, a serial killer who plants miniature dioramas of his crime scenes at the crime scenes. But usually, these don't go on for that long. "CSI" was the reigning scripted drama of the last few years, until "Grey's Anatomy" beat it this year. Despite the Serials gaining high watercooler and pop culture status, more Procedurals win in the ratings game then not.
Now, onto the Serials: Serials are shows that have several long-running character and story arcs over the course of any number of seasons. Serials began back in the 1980's, when prime-time soaps like "Dallas," "Dynasty," and "Knots Landing" gained popularity. In the early-90's, serials got a strange sci-fi/mystery twist to them when David Lynch and Mark Frost created "Twin Peaks," which gave birth to "Genre TV," which then gave birth to "The X-Files," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and all other number of shows, the descendants which are continuing today. Now, there are several subgenres within Serial TV: Genre serials, which are the more fantastical of the bunch, which include "Lost," "Heroes," "Battlestar Galactica," "Jericho," and the now-dead "Alias," "Buffy," and "Angel"; Mystery serials, which have one on-going mystery a season, which includes "Veronica Mars" and... "Prison Break," I guess; Sitcom serials, sitcoms that rely on you watching every episode to follow the story, which includes "Entourage" and the now-dead "Arrested Development" and "Sex and the City"; Gimmick serials, serials that are predicated on a particular gimmick, such as "24" and the now-dead "Day Break" and "The Nine," all of which were spawned by the 90's underrated classic "Murder One"; Serial serials, which are like old-school serials in that they have ongoing arcs, but no central story per se, such as "Grey's Anatomy," "Nip/Tuck," "Brothers and Sisters," "The Sopranos," and "The Shield"; and mixture serials, which are mixtures of any of the above, which include "Desperate Housewives," "Ugly Betty," and "Weeds."
Traditionalism is being thrown out the window currently. Even though sitcoms still are around, traditional three-camera sitcoms are becoming more and more irrelevant (even though the Nielsens claim that "Three and a Half Men" is the number one sitcom... which I find suspect... expect a blog on CBS's lies in a little while). What began with "Seinfeld" (a traditional sitcom in terms of being three-camera with a live audience, but groundbreaking in that the characters were not a family or co-workers... just apathetic neurotic friends) culminated in the new single-camera sitcom. Pioneered by "Arrested Development," filmed as a documentary with one-camera and no laugh track, the new sitcom continues strong with "The Office," "My Name is Earl," "Scrubs," "30 Rock," and "Knights of Prosperity." There are a few traditional sitcoms, but some, like "How I Met Your Mother," throw three-camera physics out the window and proceed with flashbacks, flash-forwards, and asides, despite the idea of a "live" audience.
Another fun thing to see now is how some shows blatantly borrow from others. While this has always gone on (what law show doesn't look like another, sometimes?), even the stylistic differences across genres are being taken. For instance: I love snappy dialogue on TV. Arguably, this began with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," where the students of Sunnydale High spoke in a highly stylized near-"Heathers"-level of nonexistent slang. This led to other such stylized speakings, like "Gilmore Girls," which is famous for its Preston Sturges speed and its ability to squeeze in seven pop culture references in ten seconds, "Veronica Mars," which prides itself on Dashiell Hammet speed and snap, and "Grey's Anatomy," which has seen the inside jokes and nicknames spoken by its characters (McDreamy, "Seriously!", vahjayjay, etc.) become part of the national lexicon. The fun part of all this is seeing a show like "Bones" try to bogart this stylized speech for itself. It works fine, but it's funny because it wasn't there at the beginning. Only until recently have Bones and Booth had back-and-forth banter not seen on a Procedural.
Well, that's enough of me waxing douchebag on TV. This blog will consist mostly of reviews of the TV I watch, along with the occassional post about where I think culture is headed with TV and vice versa. I really hope you stay tuned for it.
Until then. Same bat time, same bat channel.
- Cesar
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